Never Grow Up

The Kepler Track

2012-02-05T08:43:00.004-05:00

After we finished the Routeburn Track, we spent a night in civilization then immediately set out for the Kepler Track.

As we awoke in Te Anau and walked to the bus stop to catch our shuttle, we saw a rainbow over the lake.

Funny enough, the rainbow basically shows our hiking route. It's a loop that begins near the left edge of the rainbow, continues out to about the right edge of the rainbow and then loops back to the start.

We actually did the track in reverse from what most people choose. There is a steep portion of the track and we decided it would be easier on Andy's knee to go up rather than down the more treacherous part. This meant we had a longer first day of about 14 miles, but with an early start and a gradual incline, it wasn't difficult.

Crossing the swing bridge at Rainbow Reach

The Big Slip

We planned to take our hike slow and make a few stops for lunch and snacks. We attempted to do this, but the sand flies were out in full force. So we made great time getting to the Iris Burn hut, where we promptly took refuge from the bugs.

If I have one regret, it's that we went to bed and didn't try to see a Kiwi. They are in the area, and another man in our hut went out at night and was able to see one. They are shy nocturnal birds, but if you stand still they will come over, sniff your shoes and hang out for a bit. Instead, we got a good night's sleep in preparation for a steep climb the next day.

How steep?

97 switchbacks steep.

It was probably the most difficult part of our entire hiking experience in New Zealand, but handsome rewards in the form of incredible views awaited us at the top.

A view of the trail ahead.

Andy leads the way

That hut on the ridge in the distance is our first resting point

Stairway to Heaven

Those stairs were like torture to my legs after tackling all those switchbacks. When we finally reached the hut to rest, my thighs were shaking. Here's the elevation chart for more of an insight into our morning:

That was a 3000 foot elevation gain to start our day. After a rest at the Hanging Valley shelter, we continued onward towards Luxmore.

The trail along the ridge line.

Two other hikers the size of ants hiking on the ridge line

Andy discovers New Zealand

The hike went pretty quickly thanks to the views. Finally, we had Luxmore in sight.

We planned to wake up early the next morning, so we quickly explored the Luxmore caves and then settled in for the night. We arose with the sun the next morning.

Sunrise out the window of Luxmore Hut

Hitting the old dusty trail

Clouds filling the valley

After a few short hours, we reached the shoreline and our end was in sight.

On that day's descent, Andy had developed a few blisters and decided to give his 5 year old hiking shoes the boot (pun intended).

We then boarded the bus for Queenstown.

Where they promptly set off fireworks to congratulate us on our hiking success.

Or perhaps it had something to do with it being New Year's Eve.

The fireworks brought a perfect end to our hike and our year.

Hoping for many more memorable hikes, views and good times in 2012.

At Long Last

2012-01-29T12:00:00.002-05:00

Winter finally appears to be coming to Michigan.

It's been a strange season so far. Temperatures in the 40's instead of 20's, rain instead of snow and sadness instead of happiness for one member of our family.

Until today.

When I woke up this morning, the snow was coming down. Toby eagerly went outside to enjoy it.

That was about 5 hours ago.

He went from the yard to the dog park to the back deck.

And he'll probably be there until I call him inside.

If I can find him under all that snow, that is.

The Routeburn Track

2012-01-25T20:37:00.000-05:00

We somehow made it to the shuttle on time despite Andy's best efforts to cause a disaster only a couple of hours into our vacation.

We stopped along the way to get a view of where we'd be hiking the next few days.

And then we were dropped at the trailhead.

The Routeburn Track is 32 kilometers long and we decided to tackle the distance in 3 days. Our first day was about 9 K long and began through the woods and along a river. Many a swing bridge was encountered.

After an hour, we found a lovely clearing in which to enjoy our afternoon snack.

We then continued the climb upwards to the Routeburn Falls Shelter, our first experience with a New Zealand Great Walks Hut.

The huts were amazing. Running water, flushing toilets, stoves, seating - it almost felt like we were cheating.

The next morning we had an 11 K hike ahead of us through the alpine area of the track.

A few K in, we decided to do the spur trail up Conical Hill. This was a steep, rocky and difficult climb but worth it for the views.

And then there was Andy. Andy who had this conversation with his doctor before leaving:

A: So you think I'll be okay to hike?
Doc: You should be fine. Just wear the brace and make sure the trails are solid. No rock scrambles or anything.

As Andy struggled down the hill he remarked, "My doctor would hate me right now."

Somehow he made it down and we continued our hike. As we rounded the bend in the mountain, we could see our finish line for the day below.

As we closed in on the hut, the trail wound it's way through the forest.

When we reached the hut, Andy was tired so he took a nap in "God's Chair."

Meanwhile, I watched the trail rangers compete in the Highland Games.

As we had hiked to the hut, a ranger passed us and filled us in on the games. The Routeburn track actually crosses through two different National Parks. On the 3rd day after Christmas, the rangers from each park meet at Mackenzie Hut and compete in various events like shot put, hammer toss and golf. It was entertaining to view after a day of hiking.

The next morning brought our first bout of clouds and mist as we descended the 12 K to the end of the trail.

We had one night of rest before we would begin our next Great Walk and decided to relax in our favorite way.

On the Road to Recovery

2012-01-20T10:31:00.003-05:00

Andy had his ACL surgery yesterday.

They shaved his knee and made him initial the correct one.

And then the surgeon came in and initialed the correct knee.

And then the nurse came in and made him state the correct knee.

Basically it was confirmed about 700 times that the left knee was the one to operate on. Apparently it only takes one doctor somewhere to operate on the wrong appendage to put a few additional protocols in place.

Soon enough I got him home and comfortable. And then the dogs decided to help make him more comfortable too.

Although "Dog Hugs" weren't formally laid out in his recovery packet, I think we'll allow the additional therapy.

New Zealand - A Sprint for the Start

2012-01-19T14:34:00.003-05:00

Getting to New Zealand from Michigan is not easy.

It is long.

Ambien is necessary.

Planes with personal TV screens and free movies to choose from is also necessary.

Here's a quick breakdown of our journey:

Step 1: Drive 3 hours to Chicago.
Step 2: 3 and a half hour flight to LA - 6 hour layover
Step 3: 14 hour flight to Brisbane, Australia - 12 hour layover
Step 4: 3 hour flight to Christchuch, NZ - 8 hour layover
Step 5: 1 hour flight to Queenstown, NZ - 6 hours until shuttle departure
Step 6: 2 hour shuttle ride
Step 7: Begin hike!

My jet lag just came back from typing that.

I should note that our Brisbane layover on Christmas Day was awesome. We left the airport and went to the "beach" - it's on a river but I'll call it a beach anyways - had some beers and relaxed. I'd show you pictures because I brought my camera - I just forgot to put a memory card in it. Whoops.

For our midnight to 8 am layover in Christchurch, we hauled out our sleep pads and bags and slept on the floor of the airport. Because we're classy like that.

Somehow, we finally arrived in Queenstown, got some grub, stored our suitcases and went to the lake:

That's not us in the above photo, just 2 random tourists who decided to sit down and get all up in my picture.

As we sat on the beach waiting for our 3 pm shuttle to depart, Andy perused our documents. Then this happened:

Andy: Uh, we should probably head to the shuttle stop.
Me: Why? We've got like 2 hours right?
Andy: I guess I kind of remembered wrong. It leaves at one.
Me: You mean now?
Andy: Yeah.

And with that, we began our relaxing vacation with a less than relaxing sprint for the shuttle.

You'll Never Believe What Washed Ashore

2012-01-10T15:16:00.000-05:00

Andy and I had a first in our hiking history at our campsite yesterday.

The day started out fairly normally. The night before we had read that our intended campsite, Mutton's Cove, was closed because of the flooding and landslides that hit that area of New Zealand in the previous weeks. We were bummed because it was supposed to be one of the most remote and beautiful beaches, but we figured we'd find somewhere else to hike.

We decided to go on a guided kayak trip that morning. When we mentioned our situation to the owner of kayak rental, he told us he thought the campsite had just opened and would check into things while we were out on the water kayaking.

So off we went kayaking, which was pretty amazing. I was nervous at first but calmed down as we paddled around and hung out with the birds, jellyfish and seals.

After we disembarked from the kayaks, the owner told us our campsite was open, but the water taxi to it left in 15 minutes. He had called the boat operator for us and he'd wait an extra 5 minutes for us - so we flew to the car, threw some things in our hiking bags, raced to the boat launch and boarded the water taxi just in time. We then began to trek to our remote beach campsite and set up our tent.

And then this washed ashore:

And then we thought we it was a mirage and we were hallucinating, but truly, a Bernese Mountain Dog named Cash had come ashore. His owner, Ken from Wellington, had brought his kids and the dogs out boating, and they had randomly chose to stop at our beach. Ken had put Cash on the dingy and put a life jacket on him, but Cash doesn't swim. So he was surprised when Cash suddenly jumped out of the dingy. One of the kids had to get him and bring him to shore, luckily his life jacket kept him afloat.

Ken informed us that Berners aren't too common in the North Island or the Northern part of the South Island where we were camping. We couldn't believe the luck that our remote campsite opened for use, that we barely made the boat to bring us here, that Ken - one of the few Berner owners on the island - chose this beach to stop at and that Cash oddly decided to jump in the water.

So we gave Cash some pets, Ken gave us some beers and we enjoyed the random events of the day that led a Bernese Mountain Dog to our campsite.

New Zealand Log Crawl 2012

2012-01-08T01:57:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I went on my first Log Crawl.

It was kind of like a Bar Crawl, only New Zealand beach style.

We arrived in Westport and promptly made our way to West Coast Brewing Co. There we engaged in a beer “tasting.” This consisted of the brewing assistant giving us some glasses and pretty much leaving the taps open for our choosing for the next two hours. We chatted with some locals and travelers and enjoyed our brew.

When we left, we took a “rigger,” which is basically an empty 2 liter pop bottle filled with beer to go.

Westport is a beach town, so we made our way to the beach with our rigger in tow. We decided we wanted to walk the beach, but we didn’t want the rigger of beer to get warm in the car, so it came with us.

From that point on, we stopped at each comfortable log along our walk, sat down and sipped some beer and then moved on to the next cozy looking log. When our rigger was half way gone, we turned around and headed back.

Thus two litters of beer and two miles of beach led to my first unofficial log crawl.

Kiwi State of Mind

2012-01-01T02:00:00.000-05:00

Greetings from New Zealand!
We have to pay for the internet here – so I’m just posting quickly to say by some crazy miracle Andy’s knee has been no problem for him hiking. He’s actually still faster than me on the trail half the time, which kind of makes me want to break his other ACL.

He did develop some blisters on our final day coming off of one of the trails. He was angry at his hiking shoes for betraying him after five years and hundreds of miles. So he threw them away less than a minute after getting off the trail.

And now just a few pictures/highlights from our adventure thus far:
Lunch spot on our first day in New Zealand:

A rainbow over Te Anau:

Andy discovering New Zealand:

Kepler Trail complete:

New Year’s Day Picnic:

Crossing my fingers that our good luck and sunny days continue.

Like Son, Like Father

2011-12-09T15:56:00.001-05:00

The memory of Toby's 3 ACL surgeries is still fresh as the snowfall we received in Michigan last night.

That's actually an old snowy Toby photo, but you get the idea.

His injury occurred 2 weeks before we left for Ireland. My Mama helped nurse him back to heatlh while we were away.

So, here we sit, 2 weeks before we leave for New Zealand, for the hiking trip of a lifetime.

Toby's ACL is still in tact.

Andy's ACL? Not so much.

He injured it at soccer and got the MRI results today.

Fortunately the doctor thinks he can fit Andy for a brace that will keep him stable enough for hiking. It might mean a little less than we'd planned, but we'll do what we can. It might just mean we'll hike less and visit wineries more. And more wine is never a bad thing.

So we'll delay surgery until our return.

At which point I should probably schedule a vacation and have my Mama nurse him back to health.

Whaddaya think Ma? At least you wouldn't have to fight to keep a cone on Andy's head.

So until we leave, Andy will be commiserating with the one furry guy who can best relate to his pain.

O Canada

2011-12-06T08:45:00.001-05:00

After Andy completely outdid himself surprising me for my 30th birthday, I knew I wanted to do at least a little something fun for him when he turned 30.

For some reason we passed on Chuck E Cheese and decided on a joint birthday road trip with friends to Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada.

He was excited about the destination, but he screamed like a kid on Christmas when I told him our hotel was at the casino. I also told him I would give him the gift of not standing over his shoulder and nagging his face off while he gambled. I'm generous like that.

Soon after crossing the border, I began my love affair with Tim Horton's and proceeded to be fueled by TimBits for the rest of the weekend.

Our friend had a slight issue with his passport. It was expired. And it was 10 years old. And he went bald. And he grew a beard. Thankfully some border agent took pity on him and let him pass.

Slight difference.

Andy borrowed another friends blazer to complete his "I'm an engineer" outfit. Please note the too short jeans and white tennis shoes:

Trendsetter.

The next day we slowly made our way to the falls. Do you know how difficult it is to keep a group of 11 individuals who are easily distracted by shiny lights and beer together? It's a lot like herding cats. We almost managed one group photo:

Team America minus one.

We visited a brewery afterwards. Although the beer was good, the poutine was even better.

More majestic than the Falls.

We continued indulging at a Brazilian Steakhouse for dinner. That's two hours of unlimited meat delivered to your table every few minutes. Although it left me with a stomach ache and gave me the meat sweats, it was still amazing.

After a little more drinking and gamling, our Canadian Dream came to an end and we made our way back home.

O Canada.

Thanks for the memories, America Jr.

This Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T10:23:00.000-05:00

This morning I woke up and started to prepare my share for the family Thanksgiving meal. As I started to prepare my stuffed mushrooms, I set out a container of cream cheese on the counter to soften:

At some point I went upstairs. When I returned, this is all that was left of the box, cream cheese, and tin foil encapsulating the cream cheese:

Somebody feasted early today.

Today I'm thankful I had the foresight to buy two blocks of cream cheese.

Happy Thanksgiving All.

The Furminator

2011-11-20T14:55:00.000-05:00

On Sunday morning, many people 'round these parts brush up on their Bible at church.

I brush up on my dog instead.

Fur ever and ever, amen.

It's Alive!

2011-11-18T08:51:00.002-05:00

Work + Life = Busy These Days

This means I've neglected this blog for the past few weeks. Here's a quick run down of what's been going on the past month of my life.

We tailgated with good friends:

Halloween happened:

Fireman Jackson was very excited.

We also went bananas for the holiday.

While one brudder was clueless about the fact he was wearing a costume, another brudder was less than amused.

We went to Chicago and I got to snuggle this little sweetie:

We continue to plan our upcoming 3 week adventure in this place:

source

That's the South Island of New Zealand kids, and it looks like one of the most beautiful places on Earth.

source

Andy finally caught up to the rest of us and turned 30.

On his birthday he declared, "Yeah, so I'm pretty mature now. I no longer find fart jokes funny."

And then he farted and giggled like a 5 year old.

He also brewed about 25 gallons of beer in the past month.

Doesn't everyone come home from work to find a 5,000 mL flask full of yeast on thie stove?

Finally, because I want to make your Friday a little better, here's a video of a cat that sounds like an old woman saying "No, no, no."

You're welcome.

Happy Hump Day

2011-10-26T10:03:00.001-04:00

First, I kind of hate that people call Wednesday "Hump Day."

Second, I'm now going to talk about dog humping for the rest of this post.

Yes, that's right, the show has reached a new low.

If that kind of thing skeeves you out, you should probably stop reading now.

So, that dog Toby of ours.

He's kind of . . . special.

Actually, we connected the dots about why he might be so special a year or so ago. In the memory of talking to Toby's breeder in the days after he was born, I recalled a certain bit of information. I remembered her noting that "We lost one during the birth, but we were able to get him breathing again and now he's doing well."

We're fairly certain the puppy that lost oxygen during his birth grew up to be our lazy-eyed Tobias Guy Head.

Toby is pretty clueless about life in general. This makes him blissfully happy most of the time, but also confused on a regular basis.

One thing he has never figured out: his own body.

Before he got fixed, I think he tried to hump something once. He has never been a dominant dog and has never understood why other dogs at the dog park regularly try to hump him. He just stands around and looks confused when this happens.

Occasionally his body appears to be going through some sort of confused adolescence and he will start randomly humping. Since he's asexual and doesn't know what to do, he will just walk around humping, acting confused and looking at Andy or I for help. He'll sometimes try to sit or lay down, but will find himself unable to. So he'll just be bewildered while he waits for his body to return to normal.

Andy and I find this amusing, and one morning Andy decided to record the event.

So for your viewing pleasure, here's a video of Toby stuck in a hump.

Happy Hump Day, friends and family.

Urban Adventure Racing

2011-10-20T09:13:00.005-04:00

A couple of weeks ago, Andy and I took part in the Grand Rapids Urban Adventure Race.

And it was the most fun I've ever had at a race.

I think that was due to the fact it wasn't like you're typical running race - where you're trying to beat a specific time goal or set a new PR. Instead, we just had fun and left our competitive spirits behind.

Thirty minutes before the start, we were given our maps to plan our routes. There was a running portion and a biking portion, but you couldn't mix the two. We decided to run first and then bike and plotted our routes.

Please note that the photos in this post are from Stellafly and Terry Johnston Photography and feature strangers, as I chose not to carry a camera during the race. I've never carried my camera during a race because that would be a disaster.

At each checkpoint you hole punch your passport with a unique hole puncher.

Some of the checkpoints have challenges you can complete for an extra hole punch. The goal is to get as many hole punches in the 4 hour time frame as possible.

Since this was our first race, we weren't sure what to expect or how to best attack the course. We ended up getting all but one of the running checkpoints, but spent about 2 and a half hours running, a little over 7 miles. After transitioning to the bike, we only had a little over an hour to bike and missed a lot of checkpoints. Good thing we didn't care.

Since this was themed around Grand Rapids' annual Art Prize event, many of the challenges dealt with the art. For one challenge, we were given a question and had to search for the answer in the artists' description of their work.

On another challenge, we were given a picture of an eye and had to find the art work that eye was located within.

The next challenge required us to count how many wooden monkeys were hanging right-side up on the blue bridge.

One messy challenge involved a sheet where our team number was written 3 times. In "paint by number" style, we had to locate all of our numbers and paint in the squares.

Another challenge was tied to a charity, and we purchased art supplies for WMCAT and then made get well cards for the kids at the Helen Devos Children's Hospital.

One of the more difficult challenges was a grid puzzle. Basically we were given a blank grid and had to fill in the scrambled grid pieces that were on a wall. When put together, it made a map that led us to the checkpoint.

That's actually a photo of Andy and I and my coworker and her friend. We worked together when possible, which is another fun aspect of the race. Overall, everyone is helpful and gave other teams tips or pointed them in the right direction if they were turned around.

One of my favorite challenges featured a hollow wooden tower.

The hole puncher was at the bottom, and you and your partner could only have one finger in the tower at a time. You had to work together to schooch the puncher up to the top and out so you could punch your passport. I of course found a way to injure myself and hole punched my finger when trying to get it up the tower.

Then came the most messy challenge.

There was a tube with many little holes in it. We had to fill it to a fill line using a bucket, which also had a bunch of larger holes in it. So I held onto the tube and tried to plug up the little holes while Andy ran back and forth to Reed's Lake to fill up the bucket and then pour the water into the tube. It took maybe 5 or 6 bucket loads until we filled up, and I had received a significant shower by the end.

Around that time, we saw we only had a half hour or so left and decided to call it a day. Did I mention that the race began and ended at our favorite brewery? That may have influenced us in deciding to end our journey and go drink some beer.

Others did a better job of reporting the race here, here and here.

The next race on the agenda is a Winter Adventure Race at the local ski hill, and Team You Booze, You Win will be signing up for that as soon as registration opens.

The Mystery of G

2011-10-17T16:57:00.003-04:00

When we first got Gordie, he was described as an "Australian Cattle dog and Labrador mix."

Then we saw him and thought, um, no. He might have some lab in him, but I don't see any Aussie Cattle dog.

Gordie had a few traits that helped us figure out one of the breeds that made up his genetics.

Physically speaking, he had a blue/black spotted tongue, a curly tail, lots of extra neck skin, somewhat stilted back legs, and tiny little triangle ears that look a few sizes too small for his noggin. Personality-wise, he was very dominant, protective and territorial. This led us to diagnose him as part . . .

Chow Chow.

It's somewhat difficult to see in G, because he obviously lacks the fluffy coat and was bred with a larger dog that gave him the bulk of his frame. But all of the above listed traits are strongly associated to chows, and our vet concurred. However, whatever he was mixed with left us stumped. We'd heard lots of suggestions: Labrador, Golden Retriever, Visla, Rhodesian Ridgeback, etc. But none of those seemed to fit quite right.

We knew whatever he was mixed with had to be a larger dog with a longer snout, longer legs and longer frame since Gordie's size is larger than a chow. He also has a very large chest, especially when compared to his tiny waist. I guess that makes him the Barbie of the dog world. He's also a very speedy dog and can outrun pretty much any playmate at the dog park.

Not a great photo above but I think it helps show his somewhat unusual frame.

Then this weekend I was watching Dogs 101 on Animal Planet. They focused on one particular breed, and I saw Gordie immediately. This breed had all those missing G pieces. The longer snout, legs and larger frame. The large chest. Speed. We believe the other breed that gives Gordie a good portion of his DNA is . . . .

A Greyhound.

While we can't be sure without a DNA test, I feel fairly confident in saying that Gordie is a Chow Chow/Greyhound mix. Truthfully he may have a bunch of different breeds in him, since he is a mutt of unknown origin. But for now I'm calling it case closed on the Mystery of G.

End of the Road

2011-10-13T14:33:00.002-04:00

We arose on the fifth day eager to return to the world of showers, beer and fresh food.

Holly Lake had treated us well, but we ready to get the heck out of the woods. We took some pictures, ate some breakfast and immediately began heading down the trail.

Sunrise.

Thanks for the memories, Holly Lake.

Smell ya later.

A reminder of what our last day had in store for us:

See how I'm not too clear where the van is in the above photo? That would come back to haunt us later.

There was many a muddy stream crossing on our way down the mountain. Thankfully for this clumsy twosome, the steam crossings were well tended to and I would have had to work to fall in the river.

Finally, we reached String Lake.

We then began to look for our van at the String Lake trail head. You see, we had paid someone to pick up our van from where we started at Granite Canyon Trail head and drive it to String Lake. It might sound a bit strange or trustworthy of us, but it's a common practice and the Ranger Station actually recommended it. So, I practically ran to the parking lot to find that beautiful blue beast we had rented. We walked up and down the aisles.

And our van was nowhere in sight.

I almost started to cry. Andy then couldn't remember if he had said String Lake of Jenny Lake. He also wasn't sure if there were more than one parking lot in the area. We spied another parking lot in the distance so we walked there and walked up and down the aisles.

You guessed it. No van.

So we continue to walk along the lake for what seemed like a million years. In reality, it was probably 15 minutes but my brain was tired and weary and couldn't process the passage of time correctly. We finally arrived at another parking lot and this happened.

We hopped in and started heading toward the laundry and convenience store located aways down the road. I stepped out to take one photo of what we'd conquered in the past few days.

We arrived at the laundromat, threw our disgusting clothing in, and bought lunch at the store.

Beer, fruit and cheese: the three food groups. It may seem weird to buy fruit, but trust me, after eating rabbit food for 6 days, fresh fruit is amazing.

Once the laundry was done we took off for Yellowstone and stopped for one last Grand Teton photo.

I am holding Andy in the above photo but Andy seems less interested in making physical contact with me. I mean, I realize I smell like a foot but just pretend you like me for the photo, honey.

Thus ended our trip hiking the Teton Crest Trail. It certainly had it's highs and it's lows, but overall was one of our best hiking trips.

Trecherous Trails Ahead

2011-10-12T14:15:00.002-04:00

So, that invading wildlife I mentioned that awoke me the next morning? Here's one of them:

Three deer woke up for an early breakfast and thought our campsite would be a lovely place for such a meal.

Fact: Hearing animal noises from your tent when you're on heightened bear alert WILL cause you to almost cry and clutch bear spray and make your husband go see what the ruckus is about.

After the deer left, so did we. We had to hike down some more and into Cascade Canyon and up to the Paintbrush Divide to reach our next night's campsite. A look back at the trail map for reference.

Please note that on the above map, we had an option I have colored orange. That option would take us out of the wilderness where bears eat people and to our van. I would like to let you know, I faced a serious mental struggle to not turn down that path and instead turn down the path that made me walk 8 more miles and sleep amongst the bears. But I knew ~~Andy would divorce me~~ I would be disappointed if we didn't actually finish what we started. So onward we trudged.

That's apparently the only picture I took over the next few miles. For some reason, I was in a very foul mood after rejecting taking the easy way out. The following conversation took place as Andy tried to encourage me:

Andy: It's okay, I'm pretty sure all of our miles today are pretty much flat.

Me: That's a lie. The map shows we have nothing flat ahead.

Andy: Um, well . . .

Me in mocking fake Andy deep voice: I'm pretty sure it's really flat ahead. Oh, and I'm pretty sure there's a Bernese Mountain Puppy Factory at Holly Lake. You won't need your sleeping bag because you'll sleep in a bed of puppies. I'm pretty sure there's free money there too.

We continued to talk about all the things we were pretty sure Holly Lake had to offer us, and somehow that distracted me enough and we finally reached Lake Solitude.

After a lunch break, I was finally reinvigorated to tackle the straight 2 mile incline we faced towards the Paintbrush Divide.

A look back down on Lake Solitude.

Looking back on Cascade Canyon.

As we slowly hiked upwards, we passed a number of hikers coming down the other way on the trail. They gave us lots of neat tidbits of information, such as:

"Oh, you're going to want to grab a stick. The trail is really snow covered on the other side and I would have fallen down into the canyon without a stick."

Actually, we heard that tidbit from about 5 different groups. Then we heard a really super fun and neat piece of information from a hiker:

"You're staying at Holly Lake? They saw bears down there yesterday. A mama and two cubs."

I responded by plugging my ears with both fingers and saying "LA LA LA LA PUPPIES, KITTENS, RAINBOWS AND HAPPINESS I DIDN'T HEAR THAT LA LA LA."

As I tried to forget what I'd heard, we finally reached the divide.

And then came the tricky part of the trail we'd heard about. And I'll be honest in saying that this was the most treacherous trail we've ever hiked on. Loose rocks made up a good portion of the "trail."

It was very slow going to ensure that we didn't twist our ankles or create a rock slide and fall into the crevasse below. Then came the snow.

Lots of slipping, sliding and falling. But after a couple of miles we reached a more solid trail and spied our campsite ahead.

And now with labels and some insight into our next day:

I was more than ready to go set up camp with the bears, soak my feet in the lake and call it a day.

Now, although it didn't seem like we had a very long day planned for our final portion of the trail, that was assuming that we knew where our van was parked.

What's the old saying? Never assume because it makes an ass out of u and me?

Whoever said that was pretty wise.

Stormy Weather

2011-10-10T15:07:00.000-04:00

After setting up camp on the Death Canyon Shelf, we noticed something coming in the sky.

Those isolated thunderstorms I mentioned earlier? They were coming for us.

Let's review some safety tips for hiking/camping during a thunderstorm:

Stay in a valley or ravine, avoiding ridge tops or summits
Stay in a wooded area with uniform trees, avoiding an isolated tree
Get below timberline!

Let me remind you where we setup camp:

On a canyon shelf, the opposite of a valley or ravine
We were among about 2 trees
We were right along the timberline

Basically, we were not very safe where we'd set up the tent. But, it started pouring, thundering and lightning striking, so we stayed put. After over an hour of intense storms, the skies cleared and we had survived. We had an early dinner as we were afraid the storms would return. A chipmunk had the same idea.

We turned in early and awoke to this view from our tent:

Andy took in the view.

Then we set out for a day full of ups and down. Literally.

Still trying to get around those mountains you see off in the distance. We hiked down into that valley and then up over the ridge behind us in the photo. This portion of the trail lay outside of the National Park, so the trails were not as well kept. We came across one particular stream crossing that had been flushed out. After hiking upstream for about 10 minutes, we were finally able to find a safe spot to cross. We successfully forded the river, and no oxen were lost. Oregon Trail, holla.

After we hiked up that ridge, we had to hike down to Lake Sunset. We enjoyed lunch while soaking our achy feet in the frigid lake. Then we had to hike up over the ridge you see behind the lake in the photo above.

A look back on Lake Sunset as we climbed the ridge.

At the top of the ridge lay Hurricane Pass, so named for the blustery winds that tried to knock me over.

Finally, we got up close and personal with the Tetons.

Grand and Middle Teton.

After taking in the views for awhile, the wind finally blew us down the trail.

But we still had to go down to get to our camping spot in the South Cascade area.

We passed some waterfalls on the way down and finally set up camp.

In anticipation of more thunderstorms, our tent was setup below treeline, in a valley, nestled among a lot of trees.

So of course it didn't rain that night.

However, that didn't mean I slept well. Being below treeline means your also in bear country, so I awoke to every noise throughout the night. And although no bears came, some wildlife did invade our campsite and startle me awake the next day.

The Moose is Loose

2011-10-06T14:37:00.002-04:00

After a rough first day of hiking, I woke up feeling refreshed after a good night's sleep.

And then I started to hike again.

Buh-bye feeling of refreshment.

I was definitely feeling weak. I'm still blaming the altitude for my inability to put one foot in front of the other faster than 2 miles per hour. It's possible that I was just a big wimp, but as long as I have the altitude to blame, I'm going to use that excuse.

Don't I look just like Miss Merry Sunshine.

We slowly began our climb over the ridge I spied a moose on the night before. Here's more fancy labeling for perspective on our route.

You can go ahead and play Where's Waldo and try to spy Andy in the above photo.

When we got to the top, we settled down for a rest at lovely Lake Marion.

Andy found some snow so obviously he had to throw a snowball.

And then, as we were relaxing, we suddenly became aware of another presence at the lake.

A much larger presence.

Meet baby moose.

Now, I wasn't too intimidated by baby moose from the other side of the lake. However, I knew that calves didn't usual wander about by themselves.

Well shit. Hello Poppa Moose. It appears your rack is the size of a small car. I'm fairly certain you could murder me. That's neat, I'm glad we're so close to each other.

We then realized the whole family had come out for a morning on the lake.

Poppa moose then took a leak in the lake and proceed to drink from the same spot.

Andy's laughter caused Poppa moose to look right at us.

And that's when my heart stopped and I felt like I was 1 inch tall.
We decided to quietly and discretely continue on our way.

Did I mention our way was heading right by the family of giant moose?

Thankfully, we were able to pass without getting gored by moose antlers. We continued up and over the Fox Creek Pass taking in the views.

A look back on Marion Lake.

FYI: The bottom of that sign announces it's Bear Habitat.

Our lunch spot.

It was shortly after lunch that the altitude finally started to get to Andy.

Hello, nosebleed.

Andy built a snowman.

Finally we arrived at a camping spot on the Death Canyon Shelf. Sounds all warm and homey right? Sleeping on the edge of canyon named after dying?

At least it was pretty.

However, as you will see, we came much too close to making the camping zone live up to its name later that evening.

Halloween Humor

2011-10-05T14:20:00.000-04:00

Last night I was doing a little research for some Halloween costume ideas.

We have an annual Halloween party to attend and always try to come up with some grand idea.

Although I don't know if we'll be able to top the year Andy was Tigers closer Todd Jones and I was manager Jim Leyland.

Anyways, I was scrolling through the options for Funny Men's Costumes as Andy looked over my shoulder.

And then he started giggling.

And giggling.

And then he snorted something about "Happy Halloweenie."

Yup, you can probably guess the costume he found hilarious.

He then declared, "That costume is good for more than just Halloween. You could just wear it whenever you wanna be awesome."

I vetoed the idea.

I guess that makes me a Hallowmeanie.

Off to a Rough Start

2011-10-04T13:28:00.005-04:00

As I eluded to earlier, the actual hiking portion of our trip did not start out all butterflies and rainbows.

Before our trip even began, we knew we wanted to take some sunrise photos of the most photographed barn in America.

Since this was a 30 minute drive from our hotel, and the sun rose at 6:30, and I had to get one last shower before entering the wilderness, this meant we had an early wake-up call.

Let me remind you of all the beers I drank the night before and you may understand that when 4:30 am rolled around, I was a bit of an angry monster.

Somehow I managed to pull myself together and we were able to make it in time to take some photos.

After that, it was time to attempt to get a permit for our planned 5 day trip. We got to the Ranger Station when it opened and were lucky enough to score a permit for our intended campsites. With that, we visited Teton Village for one last taste of real food and set off into the woods.

Now, we wanted to hike the entire Teton Crest Trail, but various logistical concerns meant we had to cut out a small portion. We ended up hiking the same amount of miles, just in a different manner. On the below map, the Teton Crest Trail is pink and our route is blue:

I used one of my Mormon row photos to give you an even better idea of our trip:

So, the hike began with beautiful blue skies.

We had a fairly good incline on our first day as we made our way up to the trail. Remember how we took no time to acclimate to the altitude? That was stupid. I found myself not being able to take full breaths, gettting winded quickly, and feeling just plain weak. So we took lots of breaks.

And then the clouds began to roll in.

Now, weather in the Tetons is generally quite pleasant in the summer. But due to the mountains, scattered showers pop up often. Despite the building showers, onward we trudged.

The Teton Crest trail also has "camping zones" where tent pads are visible and to be used within a given area. However, our first camping zone had no layout of the sites, so we were walking blindly ahead hoping to stumble upon tent pads. We also wanted to get to the end of the zone to lessen our trip for the next day, so we kept passing up tent pads hoping for one closer to the end of the zone. Around 7 miles in, with my weary body screaming at me, and the rain starting to sprinkle, and the uncertainness of our sleeping site looming, the situation started to get the better of me. But just when I was about to have a breakdown, the skies began to clear and a tent site magically appeared beside the river.

So we set up camp, I calmed the hell down, and Andy napped on a log.

As we ate dinner that evening, I scanned the mountain ridge next to us and was able to spot a moose in the distance. I was only slightly unnerved by this, because he seemed to be far away. I kept my eye on him throughout the evening and went to bed feeling fairly secure in my surroundings.

Little did I know I would be getting much, much closer to that moose the next day.

ROAR!

2011-09-30T20:22:00.003-04:00

Let's keep this short and sweet.

Baseball playoffs start today.

Go Tigers.

Jackson Bar Crawl

2011-09-26T14:14:00.009-04:00

After we landed in Jackson Hole, we picked up our car rental for the week.

Car Rental Lady: Since you signed up for this online with a discount for what is available, it looks like we have a van for you. Will that be okay or would you like to upgrade to a car at an additional cost?

Us: HECK NO!

Yes, we had a van for our trip and it was amazing.

After we parked our sweet ride, we proceeded to see the town.

And by "town" I mean "beer."

Snake River Brewing provided a myriad of delicious beer. The best beer we had on our trip, actually. Then we went to the famous Million Dollar Cowboy Bar for a beer, where they have saddles instead of seats at the bar.

Skirts and saddles don't really mix.

Then we walked by Jackson Square, which contains four entrance ways made of antelope antlers.

And we subsequently noted there was a free concert featuring a Grateful Dead cover band. Since we enjoy jam bands and watching hippies dance, we bought some beer and relaxed for a bit.

Then we ventured to a Thai restaurant and brewery. This was the first brewery I've ever been to that doubled as a Thai restaurant - the beer was okay and the food was delicious. Since we decided we wanted to get up early the next morning to get our hiking permit and take some sunrise photos, we called it a night after dinner.

Although we originally planned on entering the trail on Sunday, we had decided to try to start the hike on Saturday. Because it only takes 16 hours to acclimate to the altitude change.

You may understand that this was stupid of us, but after drinking our way through Jackson Hole, we obviously weren't thinking very clearly.

Getting Preppy

2011-09-22T09:37:00.009-04:00

Before we set off to the Grand Tetons, we had to tackle the worst part of hiking.

The prep.

The packing.

The boring stuff.

Andy attempted to find room in our packs for all our junk and subsequently made a mess of our spare bedroom.

Oh, and to answer your question, yes, I am available for home decorating. Orange curtains, green comforter, mirror on the floor, and classy beer on the nightstand is all the rage in home decor these days.

I made sure he brought the two most important items, a.k.a., what I slept clutching like a teddy bear during our trip.

Meanwhile, I tended to the food packing.

That's the food we carried on our backs and ate for 8 days. Lots of oatmeal, granola bars, trail mix and Mountain House dinners.

Unfortunately, when the packing was said and done, we didn't have room for these two:

You can see that Gordie at least pretended to help us pack by being in the same room.

Toby did allow me to test out our new gorillapod in that picture. As you can see, his eyes say he's somewhat concerned about the camera but his body is too lazy to move or do anything about it.

We finished our packing, hopped on the airplane the next morning and arrived in Jackson Hole eager to explore the town and the mountains. As you'll see, we may have been a little too eager actually, and forgot that we flew to an area 8,000 feet higher than the one we live in.

Belgian Beer Fest

2011-09-19T10:07:00.006-04:00

After being surprised and then searching for freeedom, we buckled down for Boston's main event.

Belgian Beer Fest

Now, let me start by saying, that Belgian beers are my favorite type of beer.

It would not be an exageration to say that I love them and I want to marry them.

And then let me finish by saying, this Beer Fest was all you can drink.

No tokens.

Just a glass.

And a million Belgian beers ready to be ~~sampled responsibly~~ poured down my gullet as fast as I could.

And I was surrounded by some of my favorite people.

In short, I think this was as close as I've ever been to Heaven on Earth.

I enjoyed the beer and the company for the full 3 hours of the event. It was the perfect endcap to an amazing weekend and I certainly won't be forgetting my 30th birthday any time soon.

Well, maybe a few of the memories after drinking all of that beer were kind of forgotten or fuzzy.

But aside from that, it was a weekend to be remembered.

Searching for Freedom

2011-09-14T14:24:00.000-04:00

While in Boston with my super awesome husband and BFFs, we went on a search for freedom.

I dubbed the following our theme song for the day:

I didn't know which video was better so do yourself a favor and watch both. One showcases the Hoff sporting a sweet duster and the other features dancing ladies in mom jeans. A win either way.

Basically we just acted like sheep and followed a red line all around Boston visiting the historical sites. It's actually a nice way to give yourself a guided self tour of the city. It's also a nice way to make your friends be awkward by having them reenact the scenes of each landmark.

Location of Paul Revere's Ride:

Some people rioted here:

This is where the Declaration of Independence was first read:

And some guy died in a battle here:

That monument was the end of the Freedom Trail, but it's not the end of our adventures. The centerpeice of the trip, featuring (what else) beer, shall be discussed next.

The Surprise of a Lifetime.

2011-09-12T10:12:00.009-04:00

This past weekend I was delivered the biggest surprise of my life for my 30th birthday.

No, I won't be appearing on "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant." Let's get that out of the way first. Although I think the surprise I felt was equal to that of one of the girls on that show.

The mystery began on Tuesday evening. I don't normally work on Fridays, but needed to due to the Labor Day holiday earlier in the week. In chatting with Andy about my schedule, he informed me that I needed to be done working by noon on Friday. And that was all he had to say about that.

Since I enjoy being surprised, I didn't pry. I just fixed my schedule and when Friday came along, I stopped working at noon.

Andy arrived home from working his half day, and told me to pack for a weekend of moderate temperatures. I did as told, and also packed the car for our road trip - filled water bottles, brought snacks, etc. Little did I know, it was going to be a short car ride.

As we began our drive, I noted where we weren't going based on the fact that he wasn't heading toward the eastbound highway. I then noted he wasn't going on the westbound highway. Or any highway at all.

"Are we going to the airport?" I asked, flabbergasted.

Andy just smiled.

We arrived at the airport and he gave me my first ticket. We had a layover in Detroit. When we deplaned in Detroit, I scanned the computer screen that showed us all the connecting possibilities, still completely in the dark as to where I was headed.

He informed me we had an hour wait, and we did some walking to kill time. He would stop at certain gates, as though it was ours and stand there smiling before moving on to another gate, continuing to play games with my brain.

When I scanned the options, I had noted Washington DC and Charlotte as possibilities. I was hopeful these would be correct, because some of my best friends live there and I had been missing my friends lately.

However, Andy finally revealed our mystery location just before boarding.

Boston, Massachusetts, USA.

I was excited because we had discussed wanting to go there and knew it would be a fun city to explore. When we arrived and headed to the hotel room, Andy revealed he had splurged for a suite. He also noted that he hadn't really had any time to research what to do or where to go.

It was at this point, I felt a little let down. I was happy he had done such a sweet surprise and that we were going to have a nice time away. But I had gotten my hopes up that I'd be seeing my friends after looking at the connecting flights. So I was also a little sad that I wouldn't be seeing my friends, and that he had spent extra money on a suite which didn't seem necessary, and that he had done no planning beyond buying the ticket and getting the room. My disappointment was beginning to show a bit, and Andy left the room to go grab a drink.

Although you may see what's coming next in the story, I didn't see it coming at all.

When he returned from "grabbing a drink." He had no drink in hand.

He was, however, followed by three of my best friends wearing Happy Birthday hats.

It was then that my face exploded in tears of happiness and shock as I hugged my friends and tried to comprehend what was happening.

My husband had surprised me with a trip to Boston. My friends had surprised me by flying from their respective homes to celebrate with me. I felt such happiness and gratitude for having such an amazing husband and such wonderful friends.

And yes, there is video of the surprise moment. My friend took the video so I don't have it yet, and I can't guarantee that I'll post evidence of my insane blubbering.

After I finished bawling and became fully convinced that I wasn't dreaming, we had an incredible time in Boston.

Details on the weekend festivities to come.

Good For What Ales Ya

2011-09-08T09:25:00.003-04:00

For some reason, Andy's bottom lip has become very swollen and chapped.

I think it has something to do with the dry weather out West. I used chapstick like it was my job.

There's a cut in the lip that's exacerbating the problem a bit. As we sat on the couch he complained about his situation.

Me: You should make sure you brush your teeth good tonight and use mouthwash so no bacteria gets in there. It'll help it heal faster and keep it from getting worse.

Andy: (drinking a beer) I'm putting alcohol on it. We're good.

I stare at him incredulously.

Andy: What? Same thing. Right?

Beer. It's good for what ales ya.

Adventures in Hiking

2011-09-07T09:22:00.006-04:00

The bears stayed away, I followed rules and didn't wade in waterfalls and I didn't climb any precarious overlooks.

This means I survived The Sparse Facial Hair Tour of 2011.

I'm busy attempting to unpack, organize and edit the 1,000 photos I took, and putting in some QT with these guys:

So, until I can get to everything and do some proper daily recaps of our adventures, I'll leave you with this photo sneak peak.

Baby One Less Time

2011-08-18T07:58:00.003-04:00

Andy went to a Britney Spears concert last night.

I'll give you a moment to recover from your laughter.

Yes, he attended the Britney show because his work had suite tickets and invited a select few that were involved in the recruiting process. It was a good opportunity to network amongst his coworkers so he went.

Somewhat unwillingly, but he went.

His review this morning as he was waking up:

"I can't believe I went to a concert where not a single instrument was played."

I think that pretty well sums it up. He also offered a review of the show's opener, some guy from Jersey Show who is also a DJ.

"He would yell, "DJ PAULY D!!!!!" and then pump his fist and then girls would scream and ugh. . . I just . . . I just hate people."

My husband the official concert reviewer.

A Confession

2011-08-16T11:18:00.005-04:00

I have an embarassing confession to make.

I have a very bad habit. A habit I've had at least since college.

I sing songs w/my made up lyrics in place of the real ones.

All. Day. Long.

I also do not have a good singing voice, but thankfully Andy doesn't mind. He even joins in sometimes.

Now, this might not seem that ridiculous to you.

Sometimes the silly will focus itself on my friends. For example, we're going to visit my friend Kerri in VA in a few days so obviously "Going to the Chapel" turned into:

Going to Virginia and we're
Gonna see Keeeeeeerri
Gee I really miss her but now I'm
Gonna see Keeeeeerrri

And so on and so forth.

And on my friend Kara's 30th Birthday it's quite obvious that "Gin and Juice" had to become "Orange Hurricane."

With so much drama in the DLG
It's kinda hard being Kara and turning thirty
But she, somehow someway
Keeps looking 10 years younger like every single day

I sang more after that, but it's more insde jokes about her dog Gus in the living room eating a Kong and how he ain't quittin' till 6 in the mornin'. It ended with us rolling down her street and sipping Orange Hurricane (Booooone's Faaaaaarm) with my mind on her birthday and her birthday on my mind.

But, it seems my creativity has been lax and I've settled on using two certain guys for most of my lyrics.

So a great deal of the time when I'm engaged in cooking, cleaning or wandering about I'll be singing about my dogs.

For example, "My Humps" easily becomes "My Head."

Whatcha gonna do with all that head?
All that head on top yo' neck?
I'm a melt, melt, melt, melt yo' face
Melt your face with my big head
My head, my head, my head
My big ol' Toby head

G-Bear (Gordie's nickname) easily falls into the spot the word "DJ" would ever occupy.

So baby tonight
The G-Bear got me rubbing bellies again
So scratch, scratch like it's the last, last bear of your life, life
Gon' pet you right

And now you know why this is a bad (and lame and sad and ridiculous) habit.

And something worthy of a confession.

Of Mice and Boys

2011-08-13T17:03:00.004-04:00

The scene: It's a rainy Saturday afternoon. I'm in the living room, playing on the computer. Andy is tidying up in the kitchen/eating area.

Andy: OH MY GOD - Honey, there's a mouse in here!

Me: What??!!? Gross!!!

Andy: Come look!

Me: NO!! Do something with it!

Andy: I don't know what to do with it!

Me: Put it in a box or something! Grab the tupperware on the counter!

Andy: Ok

Andy proceeds to grab Tupperware while I continue to refuse to look as he traps the mouse in.

Andy: I don't know it might be dead or something.

Me: Ewww!

With the implication that it might be dead, I turned to look. And this is what I saw:

Andy: Ha, ha, ha, PRANKS! Yeah, that was a good one. High five?

*sigh*

Boys.

How Doddering Am I Part III

2011-08-09T15:30:00.006-04:00

Welp, this will be the final round in determing how much of a grandma I am. Round 1 and Round 2 have left me with a current score of 5/20. Unless something goes terribly wrong here, I think I may make it out of this with a few scraps of my youth in tact.

21. Joining the National Trust.

My internets searching skills have led me to find that this is a British organization that takes care of the outdoors. Since I like wood(s), I think I have to give myself a check for this one.

22. Becoming a parish councillor.

First, what up with your spelling, Brits? Second, unless all photographic evidence of my college years is destroyed, I will never be voted into public office.

23. Complaining about the rubbish on television these days.

It's called stating the GD facts, not complaining.

24. Ears growing bigger.

I haven't been keeping accurate measurements of my ears, but I'm going with a no here.

25. Preferring a Sunday walk to a lie-in.

I do enjoy walks with the brudders. And I'm not lie-in. Ba-dum, ching!

26. Being shocked by racy music videos.

Do they still make music videos?

27. Going on a 'no children' cruise.

Cruise = booze and that's no place for babies.

28. Taking a keen interest in the garden.

I'll take a keen interest the same day it stops being so boring. Which is never.

29. Enjoy being asked for proof of age.

Well, kind of.

30. Knowing your alcohol limit.

I know my alcohol limit. We've met once or twice before.

That's the last question, and the survey says:

source

11 in favor of crantankerous and 19 in favor of hipness.

Although I'm still 1/3 doddering, I'll take that as a win.

Biking Woes

2011-08-08T08:22:00.003-04:00

The Good News: I successfully biked to work this morning.

The Bad News: I totally forgot to pack my regular bra to change into.

The Good News: I'm fairly flat chested so you can't even tell I'm wearing my sports bra.

The Bad News: I'm fairly flat chested so you can't even tell I'm wearing my sports bra.

Ignorance is Bliss

2011-08-04T11:29:00.010-04:00

Note to self: Stop reading articles about people hiking.

Note to hikers: Stop dying.

As Andy and I gear up to hike the Teton Crest Trail and then hike around Yellowstone, I've been encountering far too many unfortunate news stories involving hikers. What these stories seem to tell me is: If you visit a National Park, you will die.

Let's examine, shall we?

Drowning Deaths

In Yosemite, 3 hikers went over Vernal Falls and died. Now, you'd think this would be my number one concern, because I'm somewhat anxious around water already. However, I do not ignore signs that tell me "Stay the hell out of the water" as these three individuals did. So, as long as don't lose my brain or ability to read along the trail, I think I'll be okay.

Death by Falling

Just a few short days ago, a woman fell off Half Dome in Yosemite and died. You can read all about my battle with Half Dome and find that when something scares me, I stop doing whatever it is that is scaring me. So falling doesn't land as my top worry either, because I avoid precarious climbs and cliffs.

Death by Bear

Unfortunately, not all bears are as harmless as the ones on my husband's t-shirts. In Alaska, a grizzly attacked a bunch of teeanagers, but nobody was killed.

Score - someone didn't die!

Oh wait, in Yellowstone, WHERE WE WILL BE HIKING, a grizzly killed a dude. And a little more north another grizzly bit the shit out of some lady, but at least she lived.

And there you have it, my number one worry when hiking.

Bears.

We've encountered bears a time or two whilst hiking and everything has been honky dory. We take literally every precaution against bear attacks when hiking, but bears are unpredictable. And just plain scary.

So, until the news people start reporting how some good news about hikers, I think I'm going to avoid reading any story involving hikers until after our trip.

Because if I don't know about it, then it didn't happen.

Ignorance is bliss.

Old Lady Check-in

2011-08-03T11:37:00.008-04:00

I'm still trying to figure out how much of an old hag I am. So, numbers 11-20:

11. Choosing clothes and shoes for comfort rather than style.

HA - I see your oldness and I raise you one higher - I pick clothes that cost less than $20. Frugal for the win!

12. Driving slowly.

Me and my two speeding tickets are proof I do not fall into that category.

13. Developing a fondness for sherry.

I'm not fond of her because we've never met. I am serious and don't call me Shirley!

I sure hope making references to a movie made 30 years ago isn't on the list.

14. Complaining more.

Actually, I think my Mom will agree that me and my picky eating that I started ahead of the curve on complaining. When you're 5 and refuse to eat a donut because your Aunt Kim cut it the wrong way, I'm pretty sure you will only be going down in the complaining category as you age.

15. Joining the Women's Institute.

Sounds smart and boring - I'm out.

16. Misplacing glasses/bag/car keys.

I don't misplace them. Gordie obviously hides them when I'm not looking becuase he thinks it's funny.

17. Thinking work colleagues are getting younger.

Nope, I'm still the spring chicken at my work thankfully.

18. Listening to the Archers.

I enjoy Archer.

19. Moving from Radio One to Radio Two.

I love 90's on 9.

20. Taking a mid-afternoon nap.

Show me a person who doesn't want to take an afternoon nap and I'll show you a BIG FAT LIAR.

I'm still young scoring 5/20 so far. Hopefully the last 10 questions are kind to me and I might be able to convince my friends that I'm still cool even if I go to bed at 9 pm.

Number One Ladies Detective Agency

2011-08-02T07:39:00.008-04:00

I woke up to a mystery this morning.

Now, I may not keep the most tidy home, but I'm certain I didn't leave some white cardboard and foil in the middle of the room.

And that foil looks to be licked clean. I guess I should check what I left on the counter last night.

Hmmm. Lots of crumbs, leftover cooking utensils, and there's the top to a Velveeta . . .

. . . but I don't see the bottom, the foil that encased it or the HALF A BLOCK of cheese that was left in it.

I can put these clues together.

Professor Toby in the kitchen with a hungry belly.

You see, I give Toby glucosamine pills for his clumsy joints. I have to put these in Velveeta to get him to eat them every day. And that was the last thing I did before I went to bed last night. And I must have been too sleepy - you know since it was the unGodly hour of 8:45 pm - to put the cheese away.

I guess Toby decided he didn't have enough of that delicious pill coating. Understandable motive, because Velveeta is processed cheese-like substance at it's best.

Mystery solved.

Alarm Clock

2011-08-01T09:00:00.012-04:00

Often on a Saturday or Sunday morning, I need to wake Andy up so we can go on a long run.

Andy is not exactly a morning person.

Since I don't want him to divorce me, I often send Toby to do my dirty work.

Please ignore the following in the above clip: My stupid voice, my messy home and my undecorated rooms. We spend money on booze and travel, not throw pillows and art work.

You may notice that Toby does not have enough athletic prowess to get into the bed himself. After I help him up, he proudly enjoyed his time with Dad.

Thus Andy wakes up with a smile on his face and our marriage is still in tact.

You may not be good at many things, Tobias Guy Head, but at least you're a good alarm clock.

30 Signs You're Friggin' Old

2011-07-28T15:28:00.008-04:00

The Daily Mail published an article with the 30 telltale signs you're becoming an old fart. Although I already know I have many granny-like habits, I figured I'd see how I actually stacked up according to their list. I'll break this up a bit, since there's 30 to go through. Here's how I'm doing on the first ten:

1. Falling asleep in front of the TV.

Well I guess I've been old since I was born. Do people NOT fall asleep in front of the TV? That seems impossible.

2. Feeling stiff.

Only after doing something dumb like running 15 miles for "fun."

3. Groaning when you bend down.

I only groan when I look down and see the ice cream carton is mysteriously empty.

4. Losing your hair.

Hairline intact.

5. Hating noisy pubs.

Crap I'm old. That's me. I don't just hate noisy bars. I LOATE them. I want to be able to make chit chat with my other old people friends, not listen to that crazy racket kids call "music" these days.

6. Thinking teachers/policeman/doctors look really young.

Nope, they still usually look pretty old to me.

7. Getting more hairy - ears, face, eyebrows, nose etc.

Andy sure is hoping this happens to him.

8. Struggling to use technology.

iPhones are freaking confusing. Check my phone and understand why I'm so confused when someone places an iPhone (which must be somehow imported from the future) in my hands:

It dials numbers and takes shitty pictures. That's all I need in a phone.

9. Forgetting names.

Score. My memory is still solid. Check that, memory for things when sober is still solid.

10. Not knowing any songs in the Top Ten.

Thankfully Adele is there, otherwise I'm completely screwed. What the heck is an Afrojack?

So far in the list I'm only 3 for 10 leaning towards decrepit. This is a good start.

Michigan SUMMER Beer Fest

2011-07-25T13:54:00.014-04:00

I've been to Michigan's Winter Beer Fest a number of times, but never the Summer Fest.

What I discovered this weekend is: Summer is five billion times better than Winter.

I only had to put on 2 articles of clothing in the first picture, versus the approximate 15 articles of clothing in the second. Less is more people.

Basically, at the Winter Beer Fest, you have nothing to do except drink and try to forget about how cold you are. And since you're standing in 10 degree weather for 5 hours, you drink more than you should. And then you go home and fall down and get 13 stitches.

But with Summer Beer Fest, came warmth, relaxation and my ability to not tip over.

We simply sat down, drank slowly and enjoyed the lovely summer's night.

Oh and did I mention the lack of lines? At Winter Beer Fest, I have waited 5 - 10 minutes in line for almost all of my beers. Because, as previously mentioned, people are cold as a witch's teat and drink to forget the fact that their bodies are numb.

At the magical Summer Fest, I think I waited for a fill no longer than 2 minutes.

I give you coins, you give me beer. NOW.

A wonderful time was had by our group due to the continuous flow of the amazing brews and warm summer sunshine.

We still had our friend's dad come pick us up like we were high schoolers again. Just in case. Because buzzed driving equals drunk driving. Or so the billboards tell me.

So Summer Beer Fest wins the battle of the Beer Fests. I will still attend Winter Beer Fest for the delicious pretzel/bagel chip/donette/peach ring/gummy Lifesaver/anything-with-a-hole-in-it necklaces.

But Summer Beer Fest will now forever be my favorite.

Yogassy

2011-07-07T17:14:00.010-04:00

I don't regularly practice yoga, but I'll often do 10 minutes or so at the end of some other form of exercise. In yesterday's case, it was after a 10 mile bike ride.

I usually find it somewhat relaxing and it's always nice to get a good stretch in.

Now, one of the things they emphasis in yoga is breathing through your nose. Something about air flow and some other BS I don't care about. But I try to be a good yoga student and breath properly.

This is easy if I'm alone.

This is not easy if I'm in the living room and Gordie likes to lie as close to me as possible at all times.

Yes, I'm too cheap for a proper mat and use a towel, but ignore my Cheapy McFrugalton ways and let's focus on the dog.

So why is having Gordie close a problem?

BECAUSE GORDIE HAS THE WORST SMELLING GAS KNOWN TO MAN.

Let me put it this way: When we first got Gordie we were unaccustomed to his digestive issues. And when he would unleash a monster on us, we'd often look around for actual dog poop. Because he must have crapped on our faces when we weren't looking because OH MY GOD THE SMELL.

And it is definitely not relaxing to take a big inhale of dog butt whilst performing yoga.

So until Satan relinquishes control of Gordie's bowels, it looks like I'll be locking myself in a room the next time I want to get a good stretch in.

Oh Brother.

2011-07-06T15:16:00.004-04:00

Andy took Toby to the groomer today.

And this is where Gordie has been since they left.

Staring at the door, waiting for his brudder's return.

HattenFest 2011

2011-07-05T12:10:00.020-04:00

As you can tell from my earlier post, we enjoy celebrating Independence Day by drinking lots of delicious American made craft beer.

We also always celebrate up north with our friends. Andy asked if I wanted to take the Midas up to Red Oak. I think he took my 10 minutes of hysterical laughter as a HELL NO. Not only did I want to avoid breakdowns, but I also had the desire to get better gas mileage than 8 miles to the gallon. Although driving a vehicle that burned ridiculous amount of fuel probably would have been more patriotic.

Before departure, Andy and I purchased some classy $3 T-shirts for the holiday.

We played standard yard games, including frisbee, cornhole, bocce ball and washers.

That's Andy showing off last year's patriotic T while also demonstrating excellent frisbee technique - throwing without spilling his beer.

The boys also exercised their second amendment rights.

One evening we had a beverage blind taste test in three categories: Colas, shitty beers, and IPA's.

Results?

Most people preferred Pepsi (over Coke, RC Cola and Faygo Cola). Everyone had a hard time deciphering between Miller Lite and Bud Lite, O'Douls and BW 55, but nearly all of us identified PBR. Bells Two Hearted and Big Sky IPA were the favorites amongst the microbrews.

We played Dog Bingo while sitting around. This is where you secretly drop a piece of food and put your bets on which dog will find and eat the morsel first. Gordie is usually at the top of the odds list and Toby is obviously always at the bottom as the dark horse bet.

The dogs had an excellent time in general, but all that bingo and play sure was tiring.

And we did our best to keep the pups cool in the hot temps.

We kept ourselves cool by tubing down a river a few times. No pictures, because water + me + camera = bad news. This was generally enjoyable, but we happened to see a group that brought 2 babies and 3 young children and DIDN'T PUT LIFE JACKETS ON ANY OF THEM. I almost got patriotic right up in their faces, but refrained.

We also saw a bald eagle while tubing down the river and named him 'Merica.

We ate SO. MUCH. FOOD. Including the famous Hatten Boil.

And we had to wash that food down with something of course.

Because, afterall, isn't it truly American of me to eat copious amounts of food and get stupid drunk?

God Bless the USA.

Happy Birthday America.

2011-06-29T21:08:00.003-04:00

We're ready to celebrate our independence.

If I had back all the money I've spent on beer, I'd spend it on beer.

Biker Chick

2011-06-27T12:06:00.010-04:00

*knock, knock*

Who's there?

ADHD.

ADHD who?

Hey wanna go ride bikes?

Yes, I do indeed want to go ride bikes.

At some point in the past few months, I decided that running, softball, drinking and broomball were not giving me enough opportunities at self injury. We did a lot of research and some test riding at all the local bike shops before ending up with this beauty:

And then we took it for an inaugural spin.

Don't worry, I put a helmet on before actually attempting to pedal.

I should note the memory of my inaugral bike ride when I was 7 years old and got a bike for my birthday. The fancy kind with streamers coming out of the handlebars. And I took it out for a spin wearing my birthday dress and favorite tights - the ones covered in colorful hearts. And I bit it maybe 1 minute into that ride. My favorite tights and knees did not fare so well.

So with that memory fresh in my mind, off we went. Andy borrowed a road bike from a coworker, and although he ran into a slight snafu with the chain, we had a fairly uneventful 20 miler. By uneventful, I mean that when we returned home there were no torn tights and nobody was bleeding.

And in our family, we have the very low standard of "not bleeding = success."

Hopefully I have many more successful bike rides in my future.

But I won't be wearing any of my favorite heart colored tights though, just in case.

Cat for Sale

2011-06-23T08:42:00.005-04:00

A Thursday morning haiku for you.

Because I'm oh so poetic.

Awoken at night
Mount Wrigley is erupting
Cat puke on my foot

Hope your night was more pleasant than mine.

The Year of the Midas

2011-06-22T12:21:00.016-04:00

It's about the time I realize the Fourth of July is coming up that I figure I should post what happened on the last holiday I only half wrote about. Here are events that happened:

Losers without sweet, barely functioning RV's pitched tents in Tent City.

Andy hooked up his jockey box to dispense his homemade beer.

Facts: That is a Jason Giambi bobblehead we got for free when we went to an A's game that time we were in San Francisco after hiking Yosemite. The Schlitz bottle was purchased for 25 cents the week prior at a garage sale.

Frisbee golf was played.

I only played half a game, because I am possibly the worst frisbee thrower that ever lived ever. When I start to lose track of my score I usually just wander back to the fire and drink my beer because that takes way less thought and effort.

The youngest person in attendance discovered she could pretend Toby was a horse. She proceeded to pretend he was a horse most of the rest of the weekend.

Toby's brain: Is that a wall? I should probably bark at it. Is someone climbing on me and squealing? I guess I'll just lay here.

Cornhole was played.

A basketball game broke out.

Acceptable defense in Engabasketball: Tackling and biting.

A softball game happened too.

Note to self: When running to first base, beware of any 115 pound dogs running at your kneecaps. You will be taken out and you will be bruised.

Andy set new fashion highs.

There was a dance party. On top of King Midas.

In summary, a good time was had by all.

Now, since this post is already longer than my usual total number of posts in one month combined, I'll give the short and low on what happened with the Midas on the way back:

We couldn't start it. After 45 minutes of tinkering, it started.

We decided our best option was to not turn it off the rest of the trip. Yes, even while getting gas.

King Midas had plans of his own and turned off at a rest stop all by himself.

We traded beers for bolts with some guy in the parking lot to repair the Midas.

We had to give him the beers discretely so his kids wouldn't see.

After about 90 minutes we were on the road again and made it safely home.

Engamorial Day 2011: The Year of the Midas

Almost Healthy

2011-06-15T10:28:00.004-04:00

Yesterday I decided I wanted to take in the lovely weather and save my run for after work.

Then Andy tempted me to go to Founders instead.

I held strong and went on my run.

Healthy success.

Then I got home and decided I was thirsty.

So we went to Founders and had a beer.

Then we went to Brewery Vivant and had another beer.

Then we went to Green Well and had another beer.

Healthy fail.

Special in a Special Way

2011-06-05T10:47:00.008-04:00

Oh, hey Toby, Good Morning.

That's a really normal position you seem to be sleeping in.

Looks super comfy.

Which reminds me, have I told you lately how special I think you are?

Because I think you are a very, very special dog.

R V There Yet?

2011-06-01T09:40:00.013-04:00

Andy's father got an old motorhome to fix up. And when I say old, I mean old. A 1976 GMC Midas to be exact.

Andy has been helping to get it ready for our annual roadtrip to Engadine for Engamorial Day weekend.

As you can see I did my part to make it better using black electric tape.

On Thursday evening, we set off on the 7 hour journey with a planned overnight halfway up. Gordie helped provide emotional support for the driver and also served as a copilot.

"I'm here for you Dad."

"Road ahead looks good. Stay the course."

Toby did . . . um . . . Toby stuff.

"HI! I'm a dog! I like treats! Is this thing moving? Oh HI! I'm a dog!! This house is fast."

Bonnie, the Proctor dog, helped fill the driver's seat when needed.

"Nobody better mess with me when I'm behind the wheel."

The four humans being transported helped Andy drive by drinking beer and playing Euchre and being loud. Teenagers take note: Distracting the driver is fun and safe! Bonus points if beer is involved!

We only had one breakdown on the way up when King Midas wouldn't start. Andy got all super-mechanic like and shook some wires to fix it, and after an hour wait, was able to get the King going. After that, it was smooth sailing over Mighty Mac and to her final resting spot.

And when I say "final resting spot" you have no idea how accurate that statement almost became. More on the happenings of the weekend and the lack of happenings in the engine of the Midas to come.

No Longer A Puppy

2011-05-24T20:35:00.020-04:00

It's said about Bernese Mountain Dogs: 3 years a puppy, 3 years a good dog, 3 years an old dog.

Today, Toby is leaving his puppy years and entering his good dog years. Although, I won't necessarily believe this until I see it. I assume good dogs don't bark at walls or eat my lunch off of the counter, so I'm hoping the above statement holds true.

Time to take a look back on Tobias Guy Head's third year:

He again spent his summer on the air conditioning vents.

And found time to help us brew beer in the fall.

He endured 3 surgeries to repair his ACL.

And always had his brudder there to watch over his recovery.

He enjoyed many walks once he was better.

And cheered me on in my runs.

He worked on his impulse control.

And enjoyed playing with his cousin Jackson.

He ate his weight in snow when winter came.

But also enjoyed eating treats with his brudder.

He also enjoyed my foray into homemade dog biscuits.

He celebrated his birthday with a new toy.

Then experienced his first professional grooming and posed with his brudder.

Something tells me he'll be keeping his puppy attitude for many years to come.

Sorry, He's Taken

2011-05-24T08:16:00.003-04:00

Last night, I went up to bed at my normal bedtime of 9 pm. Because cool kids go to bed when the sun is still shining.

I turned on the TV and couldn't find anything on our 6 channels worth watching, but somehow ended up on the Bachelorette and watched boys get out of limos and try to make a good first impression on the lady.

It took everything I had not to vomit from the cheese and cornball antics.

When Andy came into the room, I explained what I had seen.

A: Really? No. They didn't do that.

J: Yes! Seriously, if I were that girl and half of those guys did that, I wouldn't be able to fake my interest. I'd just tell them to go home immediately.

A: If I were one of the guys, I'd get out of the car, shotgun a beer, throw the can at your feet, slap my ass and say "You know who I am."

Good thing I snatched him up before he could make his reality show debut.

Sweeter Than Ever

2011-05-17T14:46:00.006-04:00

Uno.

Dos.

And today makes Tres.

"Because I really love you
You know that I'm thankful that you love me too
Can't you see that I've built my world around you
And I'm truly glad I found you
Because loving you
Has made my life sweeter than ever"

Running Doesn't Make Sense

2011-05-16T12:06:00.004-04:00

I set out to run the 5/3 Riverbank Run 25K on Saturday morning. We've done the event in the past and I've enjoyed myself and things went great for the first 3 months of training. Then in the last week, I pulled my quad at tennis, fought off an awful headcold and was unable to run the entire week before the event due to the injured quadricep.

I felt good on Saturday morning, so I decided to go for it.

Bad decision, me.

It was painful. Well, the first 8 miles or so were super duper but the last 3 were the most pain I've ever experienced during an athletic endeavor.

So, naturally, I had the following conversation with Andy on the drive home from the race.

"I don't think I've ever had good luck for a long distance race. I should just not do them any more. I don't even really like running more than 10 miles. I think I'm just going to do 10K's and 5K's from now on."

Literally, 20 seconds of silence passed.

"I think I'm going to see if there's a half marathon or something I can run in the next couple of weeks so all of that training doesn't go to waste."

One half of me (the legs half probably) hates distance running. The other half of me loves it.

3 days after the event, I'm still walking like an 80 year-old and it takes me about 3 minutes of grimacing to get from a seated position to a standing position.

And this morning I signed up for a half-marathon.

Running doesn't make sense.

Like Christmas Morning

2011-05-11T14:40:00.001-04:00

As a kid, on Christmas morning, my brother and I weren't allowed to go downstairs until a certain time.

So, we would wake up and sit at the top of the stairs, waiting for Mom and Dad to give us the okay to come down.

I am reminded of this every day due to da brudders.

When I get home, they know I hang up my coat and put my shoes in the closet and then go upstairs to change into my play clothes.

Since the brudders know what's coming, they go up the stairs and wait.

So basically I will conclude that every day is like Christmas in this house for da brudders.

Nawlins Ramblin's

2011-05-05T09:56:00.027-04:00

A few weeks ago we were drinking with friends and decided we needed to go to New Orleans.

Drinking always leads to the best ideas.

So Easter weekend we left chilly Michigan for sunny and humid Louisiana.

I'd like to tell you that we visited historical sites and learned interesting facts and classy sh*t like that.

But, uh, no.

We ate.

And we drank.

And we had a flippin' awesome time.

Check out the magic trick we did with this crawfish, shrimp and andouille sausage boil.

Now you see it:

Now you don't!

It magically GOT IN MAHH BELLY!

We visited the Abita brewery. Which WAS magical in that the FREE tour included all of the FREE beer you suckle out of the open taps.

The Turbodog and the Andygator were my top picks from Abita. I want to buy Andy a T-shirt with a gator ripping out of it so he can be an Andygator too.

Poh-boys from Mother's which we polished off with some Bananas Foster from The Palace Cafe. This served as carbo-loading for the Crescent City Classic 10K run.

Yes, we actually did something healthy like running. Except, since this was a New Orleans race they served you beer along the race course (Andy drank one) and at the finish line festival we once again had all of the FREE Abita beer you could drink. This beer is actually good, so I'm not sure why they keep giving it away, but I'll keep taking it. There was also all you can eat jambalaya and red beans and rice at the finish line party and I took some of that as well.

Clearly we still had to keep refueling (you burn 85,000 calories during a 10K right?)so we stopped at Cafe du Monde for cafe au lait and beignets. Beignets are really just the fancy person's Elephant Ear, but fried dough is fried dough and it was delicious.

We went on a ghost tour in the evening which seemed to be less about ghosts and more about a lot of crazy murdering people that lived in that town.

The next morning we stopped by Peirre Maspero's where Bloody Mary's were enjoyed with . . .

Mufalettas. Which I think is French for "Holy S that's a lot of meat." (that's what she said)

Then an Easter parade happened.

Before the parade started, we were all sad and our necks were bare.

The parade helped remedy that situation.

Even doggies got beads.

Then we decided to do historical the fun way.

Riding in a mule-pulled carriage while some sweet old man told us about NO history. Enjoyed with beers purchased from the liquor store. Did you need further proof that New Orleans is awesome? They give you plastic cups when you buy beer at the liquor store so you can walk freely in and out of bars. You should pretty much feel naked in this city if you're walking around without a drink in your hand.

Then a Gay Easter Parade came by:

During the parade, I think I got maybe 4 beads. Andy got about 40. Those gay men obviously have really good taste in men.

Then we went to Pat O'Briens, a piano bar known for their Hurricanes.

We ended the night with some Oysters at Landry's. Andy and I got up early the next morning to stroll down the Riverwalk, take some pictures, and stuff some more beneigts down our throats.

We sadly returned back to the cold of Michigan with a few souvenirs from our trip. A pint glass and a T-shirt from Abita. Some Mardi Gras beads. A Christmas ornament of a black Santa Claus riding an alligator. And about 10 pounds of additional fat distributed about our bodies.

Now I just need to go out drinking again with friends so that we can plan our next ~~fattening~~ amazing getaway.

You Know the Old Saying

2011-04-07T13:44:00.007-04:00

April showers . . .

Bring wet doggers.

Spring has Sprung

2011-03-31T12:18:00.004-04:00

Oberon was released on Monday.

It's Opening Day for baseball.

The sun is shining and the temps are above freezing.

Hello, Spring.

Brudders

2011-03-30T14:17:00.007-04:00

We have about 2000 square feet in our home.

Plenty of room for 2 people and 2 dogs.

Yet, for some reason, the dogs enjoy sharing the same square foot of space.

Whether on the loveseat or the floor, it seems necessary for them to lay together.

During the winter, this posed a conundrum.

One excessively furry brudder liked to lay on the deck and eat his weight in snow.

Another less furry brudder enjoyed the warmth of indoors.

So then this would happen.

But now we seem to have perfect brudder weather. It's not too hot (read: over 50 degrees) so Toby still wants to lay outside and it's warm enough that Gordie can enjoy the outdoors too.

And all is right in their world again.

The Food of the Irish

2011-03-18T08:34:00.009-04:00

Luck of the Irish?

Did you see the Vegas post? Obviously I don't know anything about "luck."

Food of the Irish?

Now that's something I can handle.

I volunteered to make Irish Soda Bread for my Mama's annual St. Patrick's Day lunch. I carefully followed the instructions so I didn't make an inedible brick and actually produced something people could eat.

My Mama also tends to decorate for every holiday. A lot. And St. Patrick's Day is no exception.

That only show 1/100th of the number of decorations scattered about the house. There was this other decoration that my bro and sister in law lent her for the day.

A little leprechaun named Jackson. I mean, check out the reddish tint in his hair and those rosy cheeks. He's totally expressing his Irish genes.

We consumed Reuben soup, the bread, deviled eggs (w/green filling) and 2 green desserts for the holiday. Then I came home to the slow cooker corned beef (made w/Guinness) that had been getting delicious all day long, whipped up some thousand island dressing and assembled Andy's favorite sandwich.

It looked like the dogs were jealous of all the delicious food we were having. And last year I learned that I they always feel better when I put a hat on them. So I found the "old man" hat that Andy purchased in Ireland and went to it.

"So, how about that corned beef?"

"Ugh, Mom, I'm not ready for my close-up!"

"Seriously, are we done here yet?"

"Does this hat make me look smarter?"

I guess I do have a little Irish luck that let me balance that hat on Toby's enormous skull.

Happy St. Patrick's Day to you!

The True Beauty of Snow

2011-03-11T16:08:00.005-05:00

I know everyone else around here is all, "OhEmGee is Winter over yet??!! The cold is slowly murdering me."

And, to some extent, I felt the same.

I wanted it to be warm, sunny, flip-flop wearing weather.

And then some warm weather came and the snow started to melt.

And then I looked in the yard, admiring the lovely feel of the sunshine against my face and the warm ai . . . ZOHMYGOD THE DOG POOP.

Come back, snow, come back.

Overheard in Vegas

2011-02-23T10:53:00.006-05:00

We went to Vegas a month ago for a long weekend of fun and winnning lots of money!

Except we forgot about the "winning money" portion of the agenda and instead just had fun.

On our first night, we walked to our favorite truckstop/Denny's/motel/casino - the Wild Wild West.

source

Andy: So, Elmo, Marilyn Monroe and Elvis Presley at a bus stop . . .

Rachel, Kara and I, waiting for the rest of the joke: And . . ?

Andy: No, right there. There's 3 people dressed like that waiting for the bus.

Sure enough, we turn are heads and see these 3 characters on the bench at the stop.

Only in Vegas.

Night number two brought our adventure all over the strip and included a visit to an off strip microbrewery. It was here that Andy maybe had a beer too many and we walked off to the next bar.

Kara: We should call Kerri. (pulls out phone)

Andy: YEAH! PHONE BOMB!! (pulls out his phone)

Nagging wife a.k.a. me who is worried about tipsy Andy breaking his expensive phone: Honey, put your phone away, we'll just use Kara's.

Andy: PUT YOUR FACE AWAY!

The next bar we were walking to happend to be a pub that had a 7 second challenge.

source

Atop the bar were hourglasses, all timed to 7 seconds. You were allowed to order the beer of your choosing and if you could chug a full pint in under 7 seconds, your drink was free.

Andy: Guinness please.

Bartender: And ready, set, go. (turns hourglass)

Roughly 5 seconds later Andy set his glass down, victorious.

Bartender: Good job, man.

Andy: I feel like I was cheating. That was like drinking milk.

The rest of our visit was a bit tamer and we ended coming home within our budget. Including the time we spent at the airport after a lengthy flight delay during which Andy found the Star Wars slot machines and lost more money.

Happy Stuff: Girlfriends

2011-02-08T12:54:00.006-05:00

Andy is great at being a husband. But, sorry honey, I just can't giggle with you while shoe shopping for hours on end.

My parents are great at being my Ma and Pa. But, sorry fam, I just can't make severly inappropriate jokes while drinking with you.

My dogs are great at being pets. But, sorry bears, even though you're great listeners I need someone who can actually talk back to me.

So that's where my girlfriends step in.

They are tried and true.

Some have known me since I was four years old and had my hair cut like I wanted to be the 5th Beatle.

That means I probably tattled on them and fought with them over a toy at some point.

But they're still here.

Some have known me since middle school.

That means they chose to be friends with me during a time when I had frizzy hair, zits and coke bottle glasses. Sorry, no picture available. I think I destroyed all evidence of this time of my life. Just trust me, I was awesomely adolescent.

But they're still here.

Some I didn't meet until college.

That means they definitely saw me drink to the point of puking which is always a super attractive thing to do.

But they're still here.

This could all just suggest that I pick friends with really low standards.

Or that I pay these people to still pretend they like me.

Or that I'm blackmailing them because I know a lot of their secrets.

But actually, we might just still be friends because they tattled on me, went through awkward puberty with me and poured and consumed the booze that made us fall down drunk.

Or maybe my standards are just as low as theirs.

The Groundhog's Day Blizzard

2011-02-02T16:14:00.003-05:00

I don't know if you heard, but it snowed here last night.

Goat Milking Champion

2011-01-14T06:39:00.003-05:00

I married Andy for many reasons.

I could write about how I married him because he's kind, handsome, has great fashion sense, blah, blah, blah, boring.

But the real reason I married Andy.

Was so that I could say the following:

"My husband was the Fowlerville Fair Goat Milking Champion."

It's true. Husband raised goats. And milked them. And apparently they have competitions at county fairs for that sort of thing.

Now that Andy is older he has traded the farm life for a suburban house and the goats for dogs.

And thankfully for everyone he's never tried to milk Toby.

He's also replaced the goat milk with another beverage.

Beer.

And last week, these two different passions intersected in the most glorious way.

That's his kegerator. Can you spot it?

Oh yes.

Handyman Andy took the top of his goat milking trophy and attached it to the top of a tap handle.

Now we just have to think of a great beer name to go along with that great tap.

My status.

2011-01-08T06:33:00.009-05:00

Back in the day, asking about someone's status might have meant marital status.

Single? Married?

Or perhaps job status.

Employed? Unemployed?

Or maybe social status.

Middle class? Lower class?

Now, with the Facebook revolution, it seems status has evolved to mean: Whatever I'm doing, thinking, eating, smelling, drinking, etc. that I think the rest of the world would care about.

I came to find that FB had a fancy little program that threw a bunch of my statuses from 2010 into a cute little picture.

Some were related to clothing choices:

Andy examining his wolf t-shirt in the mirror: "One, two . . . five wolves. One, two, three . . . ten moons. Two moons per wolf. That's the equation for awesomeness."

"Will you be mad if I wear my deer t-shirt out tonight?" "No, why would I be mad?" "Because I'll be fighting off the chicks all night."

Came home from a long run and got ready to jump in the shower. Whilst disrobing realized that I just ran 12 miles wearing my running shorts inside out.

Others were related to our travels:

We attempted to spend as little as possible on groceries this week, so that we have more money to gamble with in Vegas.

Engadine or bust!

Andy's favorite part of the Dingle Marathon: The old woman picking blackberries in her front yard and handing them out to the runners and saying "Well done, lad." My favorite part of the Half: Petting a goat that was wandering along the course.

A ~~few~~ lot related to beer and drinking:

Founders Brewery Tour! It's okay to drink beer because it's after noon.

"Shots of Boone's Farm? What is this, kindergarten?"

GPS died on the drive from BWI to Fredericksburg. Used a winery map to navigate instead. 3 wineries and 5 hours later we made it to Fredericksburg.

Playing Taboo: KJ - "Ok, you get a shot for this once a year." Me - "Your birthday!" *time runs out* KJ - "Um, I was trying to get you to say 'flu.' "

Sports were of course involved:

Final Four. Freak yes.

HE'S SO FAR OUT!! HOW IS THAT SAFE?? YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!! WORST CALL EVER!

Moose Tailgate. GO GREEN!

And ~~one or two~~ eight million related to the pups:

Test driving a dog for the night.

Toby is licking the sliding glass door. Which technically makes him a "window-licker." *sigh*

Home sweet home. If you need me in the next 24 hours, I'll be attending the dog party on my living room floor.

From the guests at our home: "Toby is a great alarm dog, but a horrible guard dog. He barked loudly at us when we got out of the car and then ran over, flopped down and showed us his belly."

So that's my status for 2010.

Or I'm just plain married, employed and lower class if you want to look at it that way.

A Look Back on 2010

2010-12-31T10:38:00.006-05:00

I know everyone's been saying it.

"Man, this year really flew by!"

"How is 2010 over already?"

"Did I really eat 5 dozen Christmas cookies over the past 6 days?"

Somehow we survived another year, and despite Andy's efforts to break his face and Toby's efforts to never walk again, the family is limping into 2011.

Early in the year we welcomed a new member of the family.

We traveled to 17 more Michigan breweries, bringing us to a current total of 57 visited out of the 83 brewpubs and microbreweries in the state. We also attended 2 beer fests to further experience all that Michigan has to offer in beer.

Toby turned 2 years old and underwent 3 surgeries to correct his ACL injury.

We took various trips throughout the year to Milwaukee, Las Vegas, Ireland, Virginia, North Carolina and assorted travels around Michigan of course.

I watched a baby grow into a little human.

Andy ran two marathons, including his first one in Ireland. He set new PR's in every distance he ran - 5K, 25K and the marathons.

I ran various 5K's, a 10K, a 25K and a half marathon and was able to set new PR's in each distance.

Overall, the year was filled with good times with friends and family. I'm certain the new year will bring new travels, new beer, new runs and new fun.

So even though 2010 seems to have passed far too quickly, I'm ready to see what 2011 has in store for us.

Ummm, yeah, about your TPS reports . . .

2010-12-30T20:42:00.003-05:00

So, I've been slacking.

But, I have super awesome excuses.

I bought Andy the Ken Burns' Baseball documentary for Christmas.

Hence, if I've been home, it's been on the TV. If there's ever a random baseball trivia game in my future, I'm going to own it.

I bought Andy beer for Christmas. And a new brewery opened up in Grand Rapids. And my friends have been in town and keep inviting me to bars. And my friends keep having birthday celebrations.

Hence, we've imbibing far more than usual. And after a long night of drinking, we purchased tickets to fly to Vegas in January. That's how much we've been imbibing.

Toby had surgery again. For the third time. For the same ACL injury. The vet referred to him as "clunky." As in "if I had realized how clunky he was, I would have added more reinforcements during the first surgery."

Hence, I've been hand feeding him ice cubes, rubbing his hamstring and crumbling Christmas cookies on his food in order to get him to eat.

Eventually though, I'll start blogging again.

Just as soon as Toby is healed, Andy's finished watching the Baseball documentary and they reinstate prohibition, that is.

Learning Something New Everyday

2010-12-16T10:27:00.004-05:00

I'm in the bathroom getting ready as Andy gets out of the shower to dry off.

Me: "Why are you using my wet towel?"

Andy: "I always have to use your wet towel."

Me: "Why don't you use the dry one?"

Andy: "They're both wet. You use one for your body and one for your hair."

Me: "No, I use one for my body and then wrap my hair up in that same towel."

Andy: "Oh."

We've lived together for about 4 and a half years now.

4 and a half wet towel years for Andy.

Alger Heights Halloween 5K

2010-11-05T16:54:00.005-04:00

On Halloween Eve, before I went to Proctoberfest in the evening and drank beer and ate candy, I decided to do something healthy. Run.

The in-laws happen to leave a few blocks from the race start, so I signed up with the Proctors. Andy's knee is still iffy so he sat this one out. Instead he was on dog duty and brought my two biggest fans to watch the race.

The best part of the race?

Costumes.

I decided to pull out my 2008 costume and throw it on over my running clothes. It was easy enough to run in, but others chose more difficult options.

The race was a lot of fun and entertaining because of the people watching. I was able to post a decent time and it was fun to run with the Proctor Pumpkin family.

Toby was a frog, but the head portion of the costume has difficulty fitting due to him suffereing from elephantitis of the skull.

We all went home and celebrated with Andy's homebrewed Octoberfest and lots of goodies.

Including a banana split.

Driving Conversations.

2010-10-27T10:37:00.005-04:00

Driving home one day and passing by a collie playing in a yard.

Andy: Look, a BGB.

Me: Awww. Do you think anyone has actually ever named their collie "Lassie"?

Andy: Probably.

Me: But it's so cliche it seems like nobody would never do it.

Andy: We had 4 beagles and named them all Snoopy.

Point taken.

The Cone.

2010-10-24T15:12:00.004-04:00

Hey Toby, why the long face?

Wait, something doesn't seem right here.

Oh no.

It's the dreaded cone.

Off the TV Grid

2010-10-13T09:52:00.004-04:00

About a month ago, we received our Comcast bill. As would happen every 6 or so months, our bill had suddenly jumped up $40.

The old woman in me said in an old woman voice, "By jove! I'm tired of Comcast's cockamamy!"

We contacted Comcast to try to work something out that was reasonable.

Instead we found Comcast to be highly unreasonable.

Since we have no other cable providers in our neck of the woods, we decided to try out some tried and true rabbit ears for now.

However, last night the cable was cut and we had not yet purchased rabbit ears.

So what was this young, hip and happening couple to do without any TV?

We did a puzzle while listening to NPR Stories of the Day. In our house without cable. And then we went to bed at 9 pm.

29 is the new 89, kids.

What has 4 paws . . .

2010-10-08T08:21:00.004-04:00

. . . and can't run in a straight line?

This guy.

He's been through a lot in the past couple of months. It all started at Disneyland for Dogs, a.k.a. the Dog Park. We were going to be leaving for Ireland soon and I was trying to fit in as many dog park visits as possible. I unloaded the pups and off they went.

Gordie, a dog built for running and athletic prowess, took off like usual in his full sprint.

Toby, a dog built for laying down and eating prowess, attempted to catch his brudder.

Toby failed in his attempt. Instead, I heard a pop, saw his hind leg come up lame, and he limped pathetically over to me.

A few days later, the vet confirmed our suspicions - he had torn his ACL. We had to get him into surgery, but we also were scheduled to leave for Ireland in 4 days. Fortunately, Toby has a great grandma in the form of my Mama, so she was able to care for the guy after his surgery. The vet confirmed during surgery that the tear was a bad one - he completely tore the ACL and his meniscus.

Remember, all he was doing was running in a straight line.

That's our Toby.

All is going well in his recovery to this point. He can't play or run off leash, but he can move around more and he's on schedule to be back to normal by Christmas.

I know he'd enjoy the Christmas present of being able to romp with his brudder again.

At which point I'm sure he'll promptly tear the ACL in his other leg.

Playing Dress Up

2010-09-26T13:11:00.003-04:00

Getting ready for a wedding.

Andy: "How long will you need to get ready?"

Me: "Maybe 20 minutes. I have to get my dress on, fix my hair and put on some make up. How long do you need?"

Andy: "About the same. 45 seconds to put on my clothes and 15 minutes to figure out how to put my tie on."

Change of Plans

2010-09-18T16:58:00.008-04:00

Andy and I awoke this morning with the best intentions.

We woke up and started driving downtown to complete a long run. On the way the clouds looked a bit too ominous and we were feeling a bit too lazy.

So we went to the beer store and got home brew supplies and some beers instead.

And here we are enjoying our first Autumn-like Saturday back in typical American fashion.

Brewing an Octoberfest.

Sipping some Pumpkin beer.

Enjoying the company of brew bears.

And listening to football.

Change is good.

Weighing the Pros and Cons

2010-09-15T18:58:00.005-04:00

Positive: I stopped at the store to buy a Joe 6-pack of beer on the way home from work.

Negative: I was not carded and instead saw flash on the screen the following: "ID not required: Person over the age of 30."

Positive: The man behind me winked and said "Wow, you didn't get carded."

Negative: The man behind me was elderly and kind of creepy when he winked and said that.

Positive: I have a beer to drown my over-the-age-of-30-looking sorrows in.

Back in . . . Green?

2010-09-14T09:45:00.009-04:00

We are officially back from Ireland.

We spent about 22 hours either in an airport or an airplane on Saturday.

I didn't exagerrate. 22 long hours of me sitting in an airplane or aiport thinking about my furry guys back home.

But we made it safely so I can't really complain. We flew on September 11th too, which means I had to show my passport about 15 times before boarding the plane in Ireland.

Ok, I exaggerated. It was actually about 6 times and I can't say I minded the added security.

I'll be back with details of the trip. But before I can do that I have 1,548 photos to sort through.

I didn't exaggerate. I actually have 1,548 photos to pick through.

Here's one of the first pictures I took. I could have taken this same photo about 25 times over the vacation.

I'll let you guess whether I exaggerted that number or not.

Summer Vacation

2010-08-22T08:50:00.007-04:00

My blog took a bit of a summer vacation. It was really tired of books and teachers' dirty looks so it decided to take a break. Or perhaps the blogger behind the blog got lazy and busy with summer travels. One of the two.

We're still alive here and have a had a busy summer full of travels to other states and new breweries. We are about to embark on a two and half week tour of Ireland just 5 short days from now. In anticipation of a beautiful Emerald Isle, we purchased a new DSLR camera - the Canon Rebel. I bet you can't guess what we took our first pictures of.

I've been busily attempting to figure out how to take nice photos and reading up on Irish history and culture. I'll be back in a few weeks with hopefully some nice photos of our trip and tales of how we drank so much Guinness one night we saw a leprechaun.

So close, yet so far away.

2010-06-03T07:42:00.005-04:00

I think I've seen Andy cry twice.

I almost saw the third time last night.

We were listening to the Tigers game in the car while running errands, like any other night. Except on this particular night, history was in the making. Tiger's pitcher Armando Gallaraga was perfect through 6 innings. We rushed home to catch the rest on TV, not wanting to miss this special moment in sports history.

We started watching and he made it through the 8th inning fairly easily. Then came the all important top of the 9th - the Tigers playing at home. The fans on their feet, feeling the history they were witnessing. Gallaraga could be the 21st player in the history of baseball to pitch a perfect game. A person waits their whole life to see this moment for their team, and most don't get to experience it. The electricity was in the air. Andy and I were on our feet.

1st man at bat grounded out.

2nd man at bat hit a long fly ball out to center field, and Austin Jackson made an amazing catch. At this point, Andy and I were jumping up and down and I could almost see the tears of joy in Andy's eyes.

The dogs of course just wondered what the hell was wrong with us.

3rd man at the plate. 26 outs in a row and one more to go. Ground ball between first and second. Cabrera leaves his post at 1st to retrieve it, Gallaraga runs to cover first. Cabrera tosses the ball to Gallaraga, he catches it, tags the base, and the runner is out. A perfect game has been pitched.

Except, the ump calls the runner safe. Andy and I stop our celebration to stare in silence at the TV in disbelief. Replays show that the runner was clearly out. The call wasn't even close. Those tears of joy in Andy's eyes had now turned to tears of defeat. Frustration. Anger. Thinking you just saw the thing every baseball fan wants to see for their team - something historic. And then to see your pitcher robbed by a blown call.

It was like a punch to the gut.

Armando, you pitched a perfect game last night. Although it may not be official and it may not be written in the history books - you did it. You accomplished one of the most difficult feats in sports.

And for the record (in case Andy is reading this) he did not actually cry. He'd probably like me to point that out. Although, I wouldn't fault any man, woman or child for shedding a tear over what happened last night.

Engamorial Day Weekend 2010

2010-06-01T09:36:00.007-04:00

Andy and I made our triumphant return to Engadine this weekend. We had missed the last two due to wedding business (like our own honeymoon). Shame on us. Here are some of the highlights:

- Driving up we saw a car with a pirate flag in the back window. This would have been sweet on it's own, but it was even more awesome because the vehicle turned out to be Eric Dennis and Company.

- I woke up Saturday morning around 5 or so, like normal. Upon awakening, I found that Troy was still up drinking from the night before. I'm not sure if he was delirious from lack of sleep or just plain drunk - but whatever it was made me laugh so hard I hurt.

- The best thing about a small town is the price of drinks at the local bars. A bottle of Stroh's and a vodka soda water cost a grand spanking total of $2.75 at the Pine. As such, we had a fine time at the Pine.

- When we left for town Friday, we put the dogs in the pen. When we left Saturday, we figured they'd be okay as they had settled into their new digs. Bad decision. Toby and Gordie tried to follow us. They went the wrong way though, which makes me think Toby was leading the expedition. The neighbors called and Papa Hoog rode his bike a mile down the road to retrieve them.

- Sugar donuts cut in half and stuffed with bacon are AMAZING.

- Favorite Quote: For the last hole of frisbee golf, you tee off from the front porch. Andy sat in a chair on the porch and said "Ahhh, this is my favorite hole because it's the most comfortable." Mama Hoogterp called from inside the house, "That's what he said!"

- Andy was playing HORSE on the basketball court on Saturday. He farted while doing a layup, and other competitors were unable to replicate the shot.

- Discussing who should drive after Andy had a couple of beers:

Andy: I could drive, but I'd probably blow over.

Me: Honey! That means you should NOT drive.

Andy: Oh please. I live half my life above a .08.

- On the drive up, Gordie used Toby's head as a pillow.

- On the drive back, Toby used Gordie's head as a pillow.

Considering the size of Toby's head, I think Gordie got the raw deal on that trade-off.

Now, as long as nothing gets in the way, I don't plan on missing another Engamorial Day for many years to come.

2 Years

2010-05-23T20:17:00.006-04:00

On May 24th, Tobias is officially a two-year old pup.

He's had a quite an eventful second year of life.

He spent most of his summer on the air conditioning vents.

Then played in the autumn leaves when the weather turned cooler.

He climbed to new heights.

He celebrated another Halloween as a frog dog.

And another Christmas as an official present opener.

He cooled off in the winter snow.

And became an Uncle Toby.

He spent a lot of time getting his Dad.

A whole lot of time.

Seriously.

But he also found some time to sit on his mom's lap.

He enjoyed his toys.

And sometimes he'd eat a hole in his toy and then get that toy stuck on his snout and whimper.

Yes, that really happened.

He spent a lot of time trying to get someone to play with him.

And got just that in an early birthday present when he got a new brother.

Happy Birthday Tobias Toby Guy Head.

May your head continue to be as large as your heart for many years to come.

2 Years and Counting

2010-05-17T10:42:00.006-04:00

It's hard to believe we've been married for 2 years today. Together for about 5.

What makes it hard to believe, is that it feels like we've been together forever.

Yet somehow it also feels like our wedding was just the other day.

And just when it seems like life couldn't get any better, somehow he somehow manages to make me a little happier every day that passes by.

It probably has something to do with the animal t-shirts.

The Day My Husband Got Arrested

2010-05-06T11:56:00.005-04:00

It's storytime.

Once upon a time about 4 years ago, Andy dropped me off at the MSU library where I worked, and then headed back to Wayne State for one of his graduate classes. He must have been in a hurry, becuase apparently he was going about 35 mph in a 25 mph zone on campus. And a cop noticed.

He is promptly pulled over and notes that the cop is taking an extra long time pulling up his information. When the cops returns to the car, he informs Andy:

"You've got a warrant out for an unpaid fine."

That unpaid fine dated back about 6 months or so. We had been camping in a state park. A state park where alcohol was prohibited. We each had an Oberon with dinner while camping, and a bottle must have been left out. When we awoke the next morning one of the rangers had set the bottle on the rim of the fire pit and was writing us a fine for about $80. Andy decided to protest the fine by putting it into his wallet and forgetting about it.

Bad idea.

When Andy was pulled over, he had two choices. Go to jail and wait for someone to post bail or the officer was willing to let him post his own bail on the spot. He obviously chose the latter, but didn't have any cash on him.

So, my husband was handcuffed and placed in the back of the police car and driven to the nearest ATM at the Quality Dairy. He was then escorted into the QD with the officer keeping one hand on his gun at all times to keep the dangerous felon from escaping. About 5 minutes later, Andy had paid his bail and was off to class. With a speeding ticket in hand to boot.

Technically Andy says he wasn't "arrested" he was "placed in temporary custody."

But it's way more fun for me to say that my husband got arrested.

That's gonna leave a mark

2010-04-24T11:44:00.004-04:00

This morning I woke up and let the dogs out. Just like any other morning.

Toby likes to stay out there for awhile.

Laying in the driveway enjoying the cool morning air.

This morning though, his nap was cut short when it started to rain.

I called him inside, because Our House + Big, Wet, Furry Dog = Disaster.

He came inside. But evidence of his morning driveway nap remained outside.

You Booze, You Win II

2010-04-22T12:07:00.004-04:00

3 years ago, I ran my first 5K race at Schmohz.

2 years ago, I walked it so I could drink beer while strolling.

Last year, I got second place by a few seconds - missing out on the opportunity to win a mug club membership but I still happily walked away with a growler of delicious beer.

This year, I really wanted to take home the top prize.

The race began after the pirates shot off a cannon.

You heard me. Instead of a blowhorn, shotgun, etc. - this race began with pirates shooting a cannon. Which is one of the reasons this race is awesome.

The race is three laps around the industrial park behind the brewery. I was ahead for the first lap, and then got passed by someone I named Blue Shirt Girl. Three guesses as to what color her shirt was. I decided to just try to keep up with BSG and not let her get too far ahead. She remained in front for the next lap and a half.

With only half a lap left to go, I noticed BSG started to slow going up the hill. So I hit the gas and chugged past her. From that point on, I had no idea how close any other female was to me. Which means I pretty much ran as fast as I could for the rest of the race, fearing I'd be caught. Somehow, I was able to cross the line as first overall female with a new PR of 20:27.

Andy finished right before me with a new PR of 19:48 and won his Age Group, which means he also got a growler of beer.

We've never ran faster, and I totally credit the beer prize for the motivation.

What made the race even better, was that it was Kara's first 5K ever and Kerri's first race since birthing an adorable baby. And victories are always sweeter when you've got someone to share the beer with.

Fryday Funday

2010-04-14T18:19:00.004-04:00

I read a few health and fitness blogs. They often post the healthy and creative meals they eat.

This post is going to be the opposite of that.

We attended a frying party - wherein all party goers brought something to throw in the deep fryer. Below is a sampling of what was fried:

Onion Rings were being prepped

Zucchini and Mushrooms

Macaroni and Cheese Balls

Crab Rangoons were being dropped

Twinkies - including a twinkie breaded in hush puppy batter before being fried

Snickers (fail)

Jalapeno Poppers

Baby

Just kidding. But that face is so cute I had to include it.

Shrimp stuffed with cream cheese and wrapped in bacon

Chocolate filled cupcake

Also fried: Pickles, Hush Puppies, Peanut Butter Cups, Bananas, Cake, Chickens, and probably something else I'm forgetting.

Health and Fitness? No.

Fun and Tasty? Most definitely.

Jandy Lamers

2010-04-14T12:11:00.005-04:00

I think Dennis gave us this name once. I'm not sure why he said it, but I just realized why it fits.

We sometimes call Toby "Guy." I detailed his many names here.

From this, we began describing large items with a new term.

"This sandwich is guy-normous!"

And then I realized why we are Jandy Lamers.

Jack Attack

2010-03-21T16:32:00.004-04:00

I got to see my nephew last week.

He was napping when I arrived. Then he woke up and was a little fussy. His little body was battling a big cold.

In case you are wondering, one of the most heart wrenching sounds is a sick baby coughing.

He cried for a bit, so then my Mama fed him his bottle.

Jack ate his meal happily.

Then he burped.

Then he farted.

And then he was the happiest baby ever.

I think those 3 things always lead to a happy man. 3 months or 30 years old.

And then, happy Jack smiled at me.

And I melted.

It was a Jack Attack.

Magically Delicious

2010-03-17T15:32:00.004-04:00

Before I get on to the deliciousness of this Irish day, Gordie and Toby want to say Happy St. Paddy's Day:

I started with Gordie, because I knew he wouldn't try to eat the hat. Then I moved on to Toby.

I couldn't quite get the hat to stand up.

You get the idea though.

The real point of this post though, is to highlight these:

I got the recipe for Guinness Chocolate Cupcakes with Bailey's Irish Cream Icing from the Smitten Kitchen. I followed it pretty much to a T, but I didn't have that fancy cutter to get the middle of the cupcake out. I used a knife instead, which worked just fine. I didn't just pick the recipe for the booze, I'd actually heard from a few people they were super tasty. The booze was just an added incentive.

After lunch at my Mom's house I am currently digesting Reuben Soup and Irish Soda Bread while this Guinness Corned Beef simmers on the stove top.

Remember, St. Patrick's Day shouldn't be all about the beer and shenanigans, the food should be appreciated as well.

Along with a small pinch of shenanigans and beer.

So Happy St. Patrick's Day and I extend the following Irish Blessing to all reading:

Wishing you a rainbow
For sunlight after showers—
Miles and miles of Irish smiles
For golden happy hours—
Shamrocks at your doorway
For luck and laughter too,
And a host of friends that never ends
Each day your whole life through!

Happy Stuff - Animals Doing Cute Things

2010-03-16T19:53:00.003-04:00

I'm making this post, simply because two of my favorite friends sent me videos of animals doing cute stuff. They made me happy to watch, so they qualify as a Happy Stuff post.

First, I received this video of a frisky little lamb. Watch it without smiling. I dare you.

The second, is of a Doggie Day at the beach. Happiness for pups in its purest form.

Hope these made you as happy as they made me. :-)

Kitchen Conversations

2010-03-05T11:36:00.002-05:00

"Can you help pick up the kitchen?"

"I didn't do any of that."

(points to garlic shells and cut-off carrot tops)

"Uh, did you eat the carrots I cut with the hummus I made?"

"Well, yeah."

(points to empty yogurt container)

"Did you eat the chicken salad I made?"

"Yes."

"Ok, then please help clean it up honey."

"But, then what will you do later when your bored?"

OH NO HE DIDN'T.

Hey Good Lookin'

2010-03-02T07:32:00.003-05:00

Let me borrow from one of my favorite Etta James songs, Someone to Watch Over Me.

He may not be the man some
girls think of as handsome

But to my heart he carries the key