Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Overheard in Vegas

We went to Vegas a month ago for a long weekend of fun and winnning lots of money!

Except we forgot about the "winning money" portion of the agenda and instead just had fun.

On our first night, we walked to our favorite truckstop/Denny's/motel/casino - the Wild Wild West.


Andy: So, Elmo, Marilyn Monroe and Elvis Presley at a bus stop . . .

Rachel, Kara and I, waiting for the rest of the joke: And . . ?

Andy: No, right there. There's 3 people dressed like that waiting for the bus.

Sure enough, we turn are heads and see these 3 characters on the bench at the stop.

Only in Vegas.

Night number two brought our adventure all over the strip and included a visit to an off strip microbrewery. It was here that Andy maybe had a beer too many and we walked off to the next bar.

Kara: We should call Kerri. (pulls out phone)

Andy: YEAH! PHONE BOMB!! (pulls out his phone)

Nagging wife a.k.a. me who is worried about tipsy Andy breaking his expensive phone: Honey, put your phone away, we'll just use Kara's.


The next bar we were walking to happend to be a pub that had a 7 second challenge.


Atop the bar were hourglasses, all timed to 7 seconds. You were allowed to order the beer of your choosing and if you could chug a full pint in under 7 seconds, your drink was free.

Andy: Guinness please.

Bartender: And ready, set, go. (turns hourglass)

Roughly 5 seconds later Andy set his glass down, victorious.

Bartender: Good job, man.

Andy: I feel like I was cheating. That was like drinking milk.

The rest of our visit was a bit tamer and we ended coming home within our budget. Including the time we spent at the airport after a lengthy flight delay during which Andy found the Star Wars slot machines and lost more money.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Happy Stuff: Girlfriends

Andy is great at being a husband. But, sorry honey, I just can't giggle with you while shoe shopping for hours on end.

My parents are great at being my Ma and Pa. But, sorry fam, I just can't make severly inappropriate jokes while drinking with you.

My dogs are great at being pets. But, sorry bears, even though you're great listeners I need someone who can actually talk back to me.

So that's where my girlfriends step in.

They are tried and true.

Some have known me since I was four years old and had my hair cut like I wanted to be the 5th Beatle.


That means I probably tattled on them and fought with them over a toy at some point.

But they're still here.


Some have known me since middle school.

That means they chose to be friends with me during a time when I had frizzy hair, zits and coke bottle glasses. Sorry, no picture available. I think I destroyed all evidence of this time of my life. Just trust me, I was awesomely adolescent.

But they're still here.


Some I didn't meet until college.


That means they definitely saw me drink to the point of puking which is always a super attractive thing to do.

But they're still here.


This could all just suggest that I pick friends with really low standards.

Or that I pay these people to still pretend they like me.

Or that I'm blackmailing them because I know a lot of their secrets.

But actually, we might just still be friends because they tattled on me, went through awkward puberty with me and poured and consumed the booze that made us fall down drunk.

Or maybe my standards are just as low as theirs.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

The Groundhog's Day Blizzard

I don't know if you heard, but it snowed here last night.