When Healthy Living Isn't So Healthy

Well, first there was the Schmohz 5K.  Although the running portion of this event is healthy, the part where you drink beer each lap and then celebrate your run by drinking more beers is slightly unhealthy.

I was going for a three-peat win, but I have not been running much these days and knew that would be a lofty goal.  All it takes is one fast lady to show up and dash my dreams.  And show up she did. 

I clocked in with my worst 5K time of the past 3 years.  Somehow this still earned me 2nd place female and a free growler of beer, so it all works out.

The next day brought broomball.  I managed to pull off some magnificent feat of clumsiness that is difficult to describe in a way that makes sense to anyone who wasn't there.  Basically I tripped for what felt like 100 miles, thought I caught myself on the bench ledge only to find the open door, fell through the door and landed on my ass.  Aside from that butt bruise, the real pain came when I stopped a shot with my right quadricep.  It hurt.  A lot.

Lucky for me I had tennis the next night.  A nice, easy non-contact sport.  Unless you get slammed with an overhead smash in the exact spot you got hit with a broomball the day before.

Then I went to Crossfit the next day couple of days.  I just started this class because there was a deal on Living Social and I have zero upper body strength.  I would guess that most kindergarteners could beat me in an arm wrestling match.  So the introduction of strength training to my arms made me almost cry during the second workout.  And then I got in the car to leave class and found myself UNABLE TO TURN MY STEERING WHEEL because I had just murdered my arm muscles.  I managed to figure out a a way to grab the wheel at the bottom without lifting my arms and somehow managed to get home without wrecking my vehicle or further wrecking my body.

So yesterday I did nothing but sit and drink beers. 

My muscles feel great and no part of my body is bruised or in pain.

Which therefore must make drinking the healthiest thing I did last week.

Charlotta Fun

Last weekend I traveled south to the lovely city of Charlotte, North Carolina for some quality time with my friends.  Initially it was just to visit one BFF, but when I mentioned my trip to another friend who lives 5 hours away, she drove the whole family down for the weekend.  Fun times ensued.

The first huge, climactic moment of the trip came when I went to Trader Joe's and found these:

Obviously the world's most healthiest food ever.  Salty, greasy potato chips covered in chocolate.  Amazing.

Then we ventured to the drive-thru zoo.  You pay a fee for buckets of food, roll down the windows and drive through the zoo while animals stick their faces in your vehicle and gulp down the goodies.  We thought Junior would be scared, but he was fascinated.

I, however, was only terrified of one awful bird.  The emu.

If the bird world elected a Satan, the emu would win.  I much prefered the llamas and giraffes.

Ok, I lied. I was also terrified of this guy:

His tongue was as long as his horns and it was disgusting.

The next day we went on a Segway tour of the city.  If you ever have the opportunity to ride a Segway DO IT IMMEDIATELY.  It was the most fun I have ever had on a tour.  And shockingly booze wasn't even involved.

I was fairly certain I would fall at some point, but the Segways were very easy to get a handle on after a few minutes.  So if my clumsy face can handle it, anyone can.

Team Flourescent Helmets for the win.

So, in conclusion:

If you ever find chocolate covered potato chips, BUY THEM.

If you ever find a drive-thru zoo, DRIVE THROUGH IT.

If you ever find a Segway, RIDE IT.



Still Here.

When work and life get busy, this blog seems to take the backseat.  Things seem to have slowed down a bit as of recent, so here's a quick recap of what I've been up to these past few weeks.

In the end of February we went to Michigan Winter BeerFest.

Why yes, my necklace is four times the size of Rachel's.  I get munchy when I get drunky.

A couple weeks later I went down to visit some Meese in Virginia.  We were going to run an official race, but the darn thing filled up before we could register.  So we made up our own race and t-shirts.

The good thing about making your own race is that you're in charge of post race beverages.

It was normal to start boozing at 10 am because it was St. Patrick's Day.

When we weren't running we were hanging with this adorable dude:

By the end of the weekend, he saw a carton of ice cream and without prompting said, 'That's Aunt Jewey's!"  Yes, child, all the ice cream in the world is mine.  Now spread the word.

Since we flew in and out of DC, we also remembered to stop and smell the cherry blossoms.

The next weekend I drove off to Chicago to celebrate the birthday of my very pregnant friend.

Since she was 8 months preggo, we celebrated her B-day by eating instead of drinking ourselves silly.  It almost felt like we were growing up.  Until we went to Babies 'R' Us to pick up her glider - we took it out of the large box and loaded it into our Jeep.  So naturally I then hid in the large box in the middle of the parking lot and they told me when a car was driving by so I could jump out and surprise some random stranger.  Yup, definitely still not grown up.

I of course also spent some time with these dudes:

Toby actually began training to be a West Michigan Therapy Dog.  We're about halfway through classes and he seems to be doing well.  That might be because "doing well" in this class requires a dog to be oblivious and non-reactive to everything around him.  So our bear is a natural.

Since I started this post with Michigan beer it only seems fit to end it with Michigan beer.  Last weekend we enjoyed the much sought after Founders KBS:

A local bar happened to score a keg - which was tapped out in about 15 minutes.  It is often listed as one of the top three beers in the world and bottles on Ebay can sell for ridiculous amounts of money.  We sat next to a gentleman who had driven all the way from Chicago just to have a glass. 

I'll try to do a better job of keeping all of my seven readers updated on my drinking life in posts to come.