March Madness - Jandy Style

So, you all know I broke my face the other weekend.

Well, this afternoon, Andy emailed me to let me know that he broke his nose playing basketball. I, of course, called him immediately.

"When are you going to the doctor?"

"I don't need to go to the doctor. I think I put it back in place."

Great. He THINKS he put it back correctly. Comforting.

"Well, I think you should still probably go to a doctor."

"No, I'm fine."

That's right, he's a man. He has testosterone and balls made of steel. He has no need for doctors and medicine.

"I still think you should go to the doctor."

"Well, I want you to look at it first and tell me if it looks funny."

Ah yes, because he hasn't been looking at that nose for 27 years and has no idea what it's supposed to look at.

"Um, look at a picture of yourself. That's what it's supposed to look like. Is that what it looks like?"

"Well, it's all swollen."

"Then you should probably go to a doctor."

"No, it's fine."

OH DEAR GOD. Broken bone = GO TO THE DOCTOR. Why is he making that equation so complicated???!!!

"Is it bleeding?"

"Well, it bled a lot but I put kleenex and stuff in it. But if I took that out it would probably be bleeding."

"Then you should probably bring your maybe-put-back-in-place-swollen-bleeding nose to the doctor."

"Maybe."

Whoa, did I just make progress here?

"I'll just go home and you can look at it and tell me if it looks funny."

Nope, no progress.

"Ok, but even if it looks normal I'm still going to tell you to go to the doctor."

"It's fine. But my head hurts a lot."

"Well, you have a plate in your skull and you're not supposed to get head injuries."

"It's not really a "head injury"."

This man is somehow simultaneously the smartest AND dumbest person I know.

"Your nose is on your head, dear."

"I guess."

"Well I guess you should go to the doctor."

The conversation ended with him deciding maybe to go to the doctor. He decided to "wait and see." Apparently, after his nose bled for 3 hours straight and he had a pounding headache and a nagging wife - he decided to go to the doctor.

The Urgent Care Center sent him to the E.R. because they saw blood behind his eardrum. He spent 2 hours in the E.R., got a CAT Scan and the telephone number of a ear, nose and throat specialist to see in a few days when the swelling goes down. I'm expecting some black eyes in the morning too.

Aren't we just a lovely pair?